This last week has been pretty horrendous. I've been in pain and vacillating completely between being a responsable person and doing what's got to be done and falling completely to bits and not being able to eat or sleep.
Last Wednesday, my husband came home after supper and very blank-faced and unemotionally told me he had met someone, that liked what he liked, and that he now only loved me as a friend and that he was leaving.
There was no fight, no confrontation, no ritual .. no nothing. I asked to see someone together.. to work it out.. but no.. he was not interested, instead he packed up his car with as much of his personal belongings as he could and walked out.
I was in utter shock. I had felt a lack of passion in our marriage for a while now.. he was always too busy, too tired.
The night he left.. I felt it was certainly all my fault. I'm not your regular housewife/mate. I don't have a 9-5 job, don't wear sensible shoes, don't like office clothing and fancy hairdoes. I work part-time at home, don't make very much money, I bake and cook and take care of people.. I draw and take pictures and create things.. I sew and like being barefeet and wearing long skirts. No.. I'm not the typical wife.
I don't think he ever was really very interested in the things I did, or created.. but enjoyed telling others that his wife was an artist.. because that was a "cool thing".
Most of you know I'm an admin at Worth. These last few months, Worth has actually been my saving grace as it has kept my busy and company all those lonely nights he wasn't here and I believed he was working. At first I felt like such an idiot to not have seen it.. not have noticed.. but I trusted him, implicitely.
This last week, Worth has again helped me.. to keep my mind off of putting myself down.. blaming myself, because that is exactly what I was doing.
I felt ashamed, I felt like an utter failure. What if 's were roaming through my head. If only I had.. were too.
It felt like he had beat me up and left me on the floor and just left. I could only blame myself. I didn't leave the house. I didn't want the neighbors to see my puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.. I wanted to disappear into thin air. Surely they would ask themselves.. how bad it must have been for him to leave. Of course it must have been my fault.
I felt this way.. and felt so guilty because a few months ago.. when James left his wife.. I couldn't see how it could not have been his wife's fault. James was the good guy.. that I knew.. now I was just like her.. and realized how easy it was to misjudge. I had told Sylvain all about James. That I couldn't see how it was his fault. My husband, although always a little emotionally cold, was not a bad husband. He didn't beat me.. he made sure we ate well and had a roof over our heads. I often felt guilty wanting more passion in our lives.. I thought I was being selfish.
I never expected this..nobody expected it. He was the good guy! huh? So that made me the 'bad' guy.. no?
I walked around the house, his shoes were no longer there.. his personal effects on his bureau, gone .. and his drawers were empty. It was like he was dead, but worse.. . he was out there .. laughing and smiling and I was left crumpled in a corner, crying and having to tell the whole world that I had failed.
I told a few people at Worth.. not many.. but a few that held me up and kept me together.. they were my glue. You meet people online.. and you have never physically touched them.. but you are friends.. and affected by them.. and they opened their hearts and held me together. Kitten was online the night it happened. She told me she wasn't going to come online but felt compelled to.. felt as if she should. I usually don't like to lay my problems on people.. ok.. I rant and rave here a bit.. but normally.. I don't call someone with every little passing thing. She was extremely kind and caring. I told Arsi who told me it wasn't true that it was my fault.. that it was not me the failure.. and he said "you have to talk to Cyn". Cyn has had some rough times in her life.. but still manages to be very compassionate and caring .. and so strong. I admire her SO much. She gave me lots of good advice, and she opened up her heart.
Tampadan wrote me... and asked .. how are you doing.. when I told him.. he wrote me a very warm heart felt letter expressing concern and also not letting me get down on myself. He's an incredible friend.
They held me together.. They gave me advice... helped me see I was not a terrible person.. that I had not failed.. that he had failed me.
Last night for the first time I slept a whole 5 hours and only woke up once in the middle of the night. The night before I had gotten a mere 2 hours. Amazing how weak yet how strong a person can be.
I still haven't slept in our bed. I sleep on the couch. I'm not ready to do that yet. I slept an hour here and hour there.. literally from exhaustion .. my body simply shutting down.
Today, although I still feel and look like a trainwreck.. I have decided that it isn't my fault. I talked to my neighbor outside for the first time yesterday. Jame's wife heard about what happened and came here with the first rose from her garden. I have found people to be incredibly compassionate and caring.
I'm not saying I am perfect ... but I now realize that I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't fail.. I didn't drop the ball. I was just the victim here.
In the last week I have done at least 10 illustrations for the Draw a Worthian Contest. I had made promises. MMM was leaving on a short vacation. I promised to do his h2h's. I could not let him down. As much as it may seem to be a burden to do work at this time, it was actually a relief.. it helped me keep my sanity.. it kept me busy and doing for others made me feel better about myself. I've tried to keep my head up.. and smile through the tears.. and it's been good for me. It may not be everyone's solution.. Some may wallow in drink and food. This helped me.
Today, I can say I'm not alright yet.. but I know I can make it. I don't want to fade away.. I don't want to lie down and be stepped over. I want to be happy again. I must.
Accompagnement (Saint-Denys Garneau)
Je marche à côté d'une joie
D'une joie qui n'est pas à moi
D'une joie que je ne puis pas prendre
Je marche à côté de moi en joie
J'entends mon pas de joie qui marche à côté du moi
Mais je ne puis changer de place sur le trottier
Je ne puis pas mettre mes pieds dans ces pas-là
et dire voilà c'est moi
Je me contente pour le moment de cette compagnie
Mais je machine en secret des échanges
Par toutes sortes d'opérations, des alchimies
Par des tranfusions de sang
Des déménagements d'atomes
par des jeux d'équilibre
Afin qu'un jour, tranposé,
Je sois porté par la danse de ces pas de joie
Avec le bruit décroissant de mon pas à côté de moi
s'étiolant à ma gauche
Sous les pieds d'un étranger
qui prend une rue transversale.
Translation:
I walk beside a joy
Beside a joy that is not mine
A joy of mine which I cannot take
I walk beside myself in joy
I hear my footsteps in joy marching beside me
But I cannot change places on the sidewalk
I cannot put my feet in those steps and say
Look it is I
For the moment I am content with this company
But secretly I plot an exchange
By all sorts of devices, by alchemies,
By blood transfusions,
Displacement of atoms,
by balancing tricks
So that one day, tranposed,
I may be carried along by the dance of those steps of joy
With the noise of my footstep dying away bside me
With the fall of my own lost step
fading to my left
Under the feet of a stranger
who turns down a side street.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
long day and sore feet
We've had 5 rehearsals this week, culminating in our last 2 rehearsals ... a very informal concert/practice that was in front of friends and family.
We started the day with a brunch and then continued on to the concert hall.. where in the afternoon we rehashed Act I .. completely until 5:30. Left had a quick supper and came back to be onstage for 7... where we continued until past 10:00pm.
Normally, the orchestra would be in the pit and we would be onstage, but instead, the orchestra was on stage .. with the soloists up front and we behind. It was a bit difficult hearing the soloists with the instruments between us.. but realize this is just for today, when we get back to working on this later this summer, we will have the stage to ourselves, but for the moment it felt a little constrained.
It was fun and exciting but at the end of the day... I was pretty glad to be finished as my feet were sore!
Here's a little idea what it looks like before we start.. just sitting around:
Here is Philip, he will be playing Capitain Proton.. he's very sweet and very talented.. and not too hard on the eyes either ;-)
Being behind the orchestra while they were warming up made for an interesting and unusual view!
We started the day with a brunch and then continued on to the concert hall.. where in the afternoon we rehashed Act I .. completely until 5:30. Left had a quick supper and came back to be onstage for 7... where we continued until past 10:00pm.
Normally, the orchestra would be in the pit and we would be onstage, but instead, the orchestra was on stage .. with the soloists up front and we behind. It was a bit difficult hearing the soloists with the instruments between us.. but realize this is just for today, when we get back to working on this later this summer, we will have the stage to ourselves, but for the moment it felt a little constrained.
It was fun and exciting but at the end of the day... I was pretty glad to be finished as my feet were sore!
Here's a little idea what it looks like before we start.. just sitting around:
Here is Philip, he will be playing Capitain Proton.. he's very sweet and very talented.. and not too hard on the eyes either ;-)
Being behind the orchestra while they were warming up made for an interesting and unusual view!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
busy, busy
I've had a really busy week and not a lot of time to blog. We are ending our session of rehearsals this week.. before taking a month off. (well, from singing anyways... in about 2 weeks we will probably be start working on making props) .
That means 5 practices this week and a informal concert Sunday night for friends and family.
These last practices are pretty great. The soloists have started singing with us and we are finally getting to hear the script too.. It's such much funnier and much less disjointed when everything comes together. Tomorrow will be a treat as we will have full orchestra and for the first time be practicing on-stage.
Wednesday, we had our first encounter with the singer that will be playinig "Bob, the terrible". He's very charming and "aguichable" and just seems to fit the role perfectly.
Yesterday, the director was there for the first time.. tiny little thing.. but a real cutie.. with his lime and lemon striped pants.. very retro!.
June 1st was also the first year for World Photo Day . Since it is the first year of the project, there is not many photos.. probably about 1000. Still, 1000 people cooperating on a project is not bad. Next year there will most probably be more. The idea was to take a photograph just showing people or a person just doing something ordinary wherever you happened to be that day. I took a few shots of the daughter of a friend.. and uploaded a pic of her blowing bubbles. Of course, I would have been better to have a plain background etc, but this is a candid shot and I couldn't help but love her expression..so without further ado, my contribution to World Photo Day...
Émilie:
That means 5 practices this week and a informal concert Sunday night for friends and family.
These last practices are pretty great. The soloists have started singing with us and we are finally getting to hear the script too.. It's such much funnier and much less disjointed when everything comes together. Tomorrow will be a treat as we will have full orchestra and for the first time be practicing on-stage.
Wednesday, we had our first encounter with the singer that will be playinig "Bob, the terrible". He's very charming and "aguichable" and just seems to fit the role perfectly.
Yesterday, the director was there for the first time.. tiny little thing.. but a real cutie.. with his lime and lemon striped pants.. very retro!.
June 1st was also the first year for World Photo Day . Since it is the first year of the project, there is not many photos.. probably about 1000. Still, 1000 people cooperating on a project is not bad. Next year there will most probably be more. The idea was to take a photograph just showing people or a person just doing something ordinary wherever you happened to be that day. I took a few shots of the daughter of a friend.. and uploaded a pic of her blowing bubbles. Of course, I would have been better to have a plain background etc, but this is a candid shot and I couldn't help but love her expression..so without further ado, my contribution to World Photo Day...
Émilie:
Thursday, May 26, 2005
clothes and clothes again
This week I went shopping with Carmen to try and help her find a dress for a fancy doodad she is going to this weekend near Montreal at the Château Vaudreuil where her husband will be picking up an award.
Well, good luck finding something elegant and chic in a small town that doesn't look like you're going to your high-school prom or that you want to look like the grandmother of the bride. It was either too masculine... for my tastes anyways.. stuff like stark shifts with very tailored looking jackets, made me feel like something you would wear to a high-class business meeting, not a fancy soirée. There were also the trashy looking dresses... extremely low cut with long chains and beads and bobbles and whatever all over.. almost made you look like a xmas tree... not "quite" what we were trying to find.
We found one dress that would have been perfect except it didn't fit her. She is petite and wears an 8, but she is less than well endowed so her chest is probably a 6. We did find a black crepe dress with just the tiniest bit of dark plum inlay with tiny beads.. well.. alhtough she's small.. that dress would just not fit over her hips.. well, maybe if we would have attached vice-grips and tugged it down.. haha.
-- -- --
Last night we had a practice. We really have to get a move on .. need to know all of this by heart. I'm pretty much there.. actually I would know it by heart if I would practice at home, I guess.. but I do other things instead. It will be a joy to get rid of the binder though, 350 pages starts getting heavy after awhile.
This evening we will be singing a few extracts to open the "Salon du Livre", which is a weekend of meeting (mostly regional) authors. We have to be there early and it was decided that they wanted us to wear black and white.. may I say.. boring!!
They think it will make us look unified as a group... oh.. no!. .. do you really believe that if people see us in ordinary clothing singing together.. will truly believe we just randomly and coincidentally all butted up against each other and burst out in song? LOL.
Also, it's a lovely day today.. beautiful sunshine and warm. We will be all dressed up in long formal black skirts and white silk shirts...so stuffy. It's also so darned conservative looking. Dressed like that, I feel we look like nuns, when they went through the stage of no longer wearing their habits, just need to add a small cross on our chests and there you go! Can you tell, I'm slightly annoyed?
Well, good luck finding something elegant and chic in a small town that doesn't look like you're going to your high-school prom or that you want to look like the grandmother of the bride. It was either too masculine... for my tastes anyways.. stuff like stark shifts with very tailored looking jackets, made me feel like something you would wear to a high-class business meeting, not a fancy soirée. There were also the trashy looking dresses... extremely low cut with long chains and beads and bobbles and whatever all over.. almost made you look like a xmas tree... not "quite" what we were trying to find.
We found one dress that would have been perfect except it didn't fit her. She is petite and wears an 8, but she is less than well endowed so her chest is probably a 6. We did find a black crepe dress with just the tiniest bit of dark plum inlay with tiny beads.. well.. alhtough she's small.. that dress would just not fit over her hips.. well, maybe if we would have attached vice-grips and tugged it down.. haha.
-- -- --
Last night we had a practice. We really have to get a move on .. need to know all of this by heart. I'm pretty much there.. actually I would know it by heart if I would practice at home, I guess.. but I do other things instead. It will be a joy to get rid of the binder though, 350 pages starts getting heavy after awhile.
This evening we will be singing a few extracts to open the "Salon du Livre", which is a weekend of meeting (mostly regional) authors. We have to be there early and it was decided that they wanted us to wear black and white.. may I say.. boring!!
They think it will make us look unified as a group... oh.. no!. .. do you really believe that if people see us in ordinary clothing singing together.. will truly believe we just randomly and coincidentally all butted up against each other and burst out in song? LOL.
Also, it's a lovely day today.. beautiful sunshine and warm. We will be all dressed up in long formal black skirts and white silk shirts...so stuffy. It's also so darned conservative looking. Dressed like that, I feel we look like nuns, when they went through the stage of no longer wearing their habits, just need to add a small cross on our chests and there you go! Can you tell, I'm slightly annoyed?
Saturday, May 21, 2005
this last week
I used to update this thing every couple of days and it's been about a week, I guess I'm getting lazy.
Last Sunday, I went to see a concert with a choir that sings pop songs, mostly 80's stuff. I went to see it because Claudette sings in it and she's like a second mom to me. She has 2 daughter's my age but they don't bother to go and see her. I met her about 7-8 years ago and she is so young at heart and has a wonderful spirit about her.
She's the kind of person you want to grow up to be.
Claudette:
Here's a look at their choir:
and the night's Master of Ceremonies: lol
--
Since I've started taking photographs, Claudette has always said she loved
my work, but you know how it is.. friends and family often say, "oh! it's wonderful!" just to make you feel good but when she came by expressly to choose some photos to put on her dining room wall, I was very flattered. I went with her and chose 3 frames that would look great together and with the images in them. Later that night, I went to her house and helped her put them on the wall... let me tell you .. putting several of them in a line is not an easy task, well not for me anyways! It took us an hour to put up 3 frames.. how useless do we seem? lol
--
Practice this week was fun as usual, getting more intense each week. This week when practicing our parts where we sort of have a bit of a screaming match between the peasants and the citizens of the future, we had to stand up each time it was our part to sing.. so we were bobbing up and down... turns out to be quite an aerobic exercise! :-P
Simon has gone to Sherbrooke with "l'Harmonie" for the weekend.. will only be back Sunday night. I have lent him my camera.. because it's got a pretty good zoom. (10x).
He left me his point and shoot.. (well, it has a few manual controls, but really very limited) in case I want to do a shoot. I think I 'll wait
--
In other news, Artalyst is going to have a new home and a new concept. It hasn't gone live yet, so I'm not linking it but just saying that it looks very promising.
Last Sunday, I went to see a concert with a choir that sings pop songs, mostly 80's stuff. I went to see it because Claudette sings in it and she's like a second mom to me. She has 2 daughter's my age but they don't bother to go and see her. I met her about 7-8 years ago and she is so young at heart and has a wonderful spirit about her.
She's the kind of person you want to grow up to be.
Claudette:
Here's a look at their choir:
and the night's Master of Ceremonies: lol
--
Since I've started taking photographs, Claudette has always said she loved
my work, but you know how it is.. friends and family often say, "oh! it's wonderful!" just to make you feel good but when she came by expressly to choose some photos to put on her dining room wall, I was very flattered. I went with her and chose 3 frames that would look great together and with the images in them. Later that night, I went to her house and helped her put them on the wall... let me tell you .. putting several of them in a line is not an easy task, well not for me anyways! It took us an hour to put up 3 frames.. how useless do we seem? lol
--
Practice this week was fun as usual, getting more intense each week. This week when practicing our parts where we sort of have a bit of a screaming match between the peasants and the citizens of the future, we had to stand up each time it was our part to sing.. so we were bobbing up and down... turns out to be quite an aerobic exercise! :-P
Simon has gone to Sherbrooke with "l'Harmonie" for the weekend.. will only be back Sunday night. I have lent him my camera.. because it's got a pretty good zoom. (10x).
He left me his point and shoot.. (well, it has a few manual controls, but really very limited) in case I want to do a shoot. I think I 'll wait
--
In other news, Artalyst is going to have a new home and a new concept. It hasn't gone live yet, so I'm not linking it but just saying that it looks very promising.
Friday, May 13, 2005
I feel so spoiled
My friend, Dan, known as Tampadan on Worth.. send me 2 of his fabulous photographs.
They are gorgeous.. and I have found them the perfect spots on my walls.
I just have to share them with you!
here is "Red Chair". This image has quite a story to it. Dan found this lounger type chair and dragged it around with him in his truck looking for a place to photograph it.
He put it in the middle of the street.. but it just didn't seem right.. so on a very early Sunday morning in Tampa Florida, he dragged this mightily heavy and dirty old chair unto railway tracks to take this picture. I have found that since this picture was taken.. that Dan's photography has also changed... as if on a road to a new destination.. somewhat like those railways tracks. I believe sometimes we photograph stuff we want to tell the world.. othertimes what we photograph and feel compelled to photograph is our art speaking to us.. telling us something about ourselves.
I have placed "Red Chair" in my office area to look at it and have it inspire me everyday!
The second photograph is called "Blue Wall".
I have always loved the bright orange of the shirt casually draped on a chair against the blue wall. I love photos of chairs without people sitting in them. Van Gogh would paint chairs to represent the people who sat on them.. as symbols.. of the people that owned them, sat on them. Van Gogh represented himself and fellow friend and painter (although they often had bitter differences of opinions) by painting their chairs. I also have a fascination of empty chairs in art. Dan's Blue Wall has always captured my attention.. and now it has found a spot in my bedroom.
Thanks, Dan.. for your kindness and generosity.. you are the best!
They are gorgeous.. and I have found them the perfect spots on my walls.
I just have to share them with you!
here is "Red Chair". This image has quite a story to it. Dan found this lounger type chair and dragged it around with him in his truck looking for a place to photograph it.
He put it in the middle of the street.. but it just didn't seem right.. so on a very early Sunday morning in Tampa Florida, he dragged this mightily heavy and dirty old chair unto railway tracks to take this picture. I have found that since this picture was taken.. that Dan's photography has also changed... as if on a road to a new destination.. somewhat like those railways tracks. I believe sometimes we photograph stuff we want to tell the world.. othertimes what we photograph and feel compelled to photograph is our art speaking to us.. telling us something about ourselves.
I have placed "Red Chair" in my office area to look at it and have it inspire me everyday!
The second photograph is called "Blue Wall".
I have always loved the bright orange of the shirt casually draped on a chair against the blue wall. I love photos of chairs without people sitting in them. Van Gogh would paint chairs to represent the people who sat on them.. as symbols.. of the people that owned them, sat on them. Van Gogh represented himself and fellow friend and painter (although they often had bitter differences of opinions) by painting their chairs. I also have a fascination of empty chairs in art. Dan's Blue Wall has always captured my attention.. and now it has found a spot in my bedroom.
Thanks, Dan.. for your kindness and generosity.. you are the best!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
last few days
I've just finished reading the book, 'Digital Fortress' by Dan Brown. He's the same author that wrote the 'DaVinci Code'. The book was alright but too easy. As soon as they fingered a certain person in the beginning 1/3 of the book, I was already sure it wasn't him.. and had by the middle of the book already figured out pretty much who did what.. and the only reason to read was to see if I was right, for one..and also for the small details.
I had the same impression when I read the "DaVinci Code" right from the beginning when the first person dies. It wasn't very hard to figure out they were talking about DaVinci's "Proportions of the Human Figure". Yes, I am aware it was a best seller and everyone thought it was the best book they had every read. Don't get me wrong, it was a good read, but perhaps I was let down by all the hype.
One gets the feeling that his so-called experts are not as brilliant as they should be because the clues are easy and evident. At least in the 'DaVinci code', there were a few more surprises and it was a better read. I'm wondering why Dan Brown has chosen to make his cyrptographers, that are supposedly geniuses.. not as smart as the reader.. or maybe Dan Brown is brilliant.. that he writes in a way that makes the reader feel very smart! lol
If there were a science-fiction book out there that I would absolutely recommend to anyone... it would be a very small but fascinating book by Canadian author 'Robert J. Sawyer' called 'Calculating God'. It is not only a page turner and interesting but truly thought provoking. The book is about an alien that comes to earth and has discussions with an atheist paleontologist about creationism. Let me state, right here. right now..this book is not about religion or anything about what most of us were brought up and been taught about God and how he cares for every living soul etc. Let's just say I could not put this book down.
----
Saturday I went with Sylvian to an Exposition by the Club Richelieu. I promised but I must say I was bored. Boats, campers and fishing gear... oh..yes.. everthing I hate!! lol.. afterwards we had supper with a colleague of Sylvain's and his wife. The guy could talk only about one thing: work.. I tried to be seem interested.. but instead.. was thinking about the time.. I had a colorization to work on and the contest would go live at midnight. I had completely forgotten about it and had only remembered that afternoon. You can imagine me, at the restaurant.. pretending not be ansy and trying to sneak quick, not obvious glances at the time.
--
Sunday, there was a Mother's Day Brunch that we went to because it was benefitting our prodution. It was at the local golf club. It was a beautiful day and let me tell you a small golf club fills up very quickly when 400 people stop by for breakfast.
We were supposed to sing a few selections..but the place was really not set up for it..and I must say, all the better. We got to sit with friends and just enjoy the mid-morning. Brunch was delicious and we had a couple musicians playing a few feet away.. it was fun.
Here's a picture of my friend, Linda, with her mom (a real sweetheart) and her daughter, Sophie.
--
Monday night I went out again for a late-night walk.. this time with my camera and tripod in tow.
Had some fun a small park closeby doing some light painting.
--
Today I had something fun happen. A new client came to my home for a logo for an organisation that he is head of that sends medical and educative supplies to Haiti. I'm not so honky dory on doing logo's .. but I told him.. sure I would.. why not! I could use the money.
He looks around and sees my walls are full of paintings and starts asking .. you did these.. blah.. blah.. and I say yes. So he says, how come I've never seen you expose anything.
I sort of laugh and tell him I don't really consider myself a painter because it's just something that I do because I like to create. I am not easily categorized I think.. a little impressionism, a little abstract.. a little water color.. a little sculpture.. a little photography.. whatever strikes my fancy. I don't put myself as one thing, I just have an intense need to create.. it can be making a great supper, making curtains or a painting. He says.. I have someone outside in my car that I would like to introduce to you.
He brings in this man that is a part owner of a small gallery. This guy looks around and says.. would I like to have a 2 week showing at the gallery.. give him a bit of notice.. and he would fix it up for me.. everything, invitations for the vernissage.. opening nite. He looks at my photos.. says that would be cool too.
So this is a great opportunity but I don't know.. it implies so many things. It means I would have to frame a bunch of my stuff.. that's going to cost me a lot of money that I just don't have. I have a sort of portfolio with photos. I also have some paintings that I wouldn't mind showing to people but at the same time really are attached to them because (and not all of them, of course) but some of them truly have meaning for me.
This one in particular 'Woman Unfolding' seems to mesmerize everyone that comes to my home. Everyone wants to have it in their homes. It's 3 feet wide by 4 feet high. It's in my dining room.. and I'm very attached to it because it very much about me.. as a woman unfolding .. becoming my true self. This guy kept going back to it .. over and over again. I don't want to sell it. I know that is what artists do.. but this one I would really miss in my home.
Woman Unfolding:
Anyways, I have to think about it.. is this something I want.. or am I just afraid? Do I want glorification and or critique.. how thick is my skin?
If I don't do this, will I regret it later on? If I do this, will I regret it later on?
I have always enjoyed doing art and creating things because there never was a reason it had to be done.. I already see in my work where I create invitations and other projects for people that I need quite a bit of control over what I'm producing. I hate being micro-managed.
I also don't want to have to make paintings when I don't feel like it. I want to create when and how I want to.. does that make any sense?
I had the same impression when I read the "DaVinci Code" right from the beginning when the first person dies. It wasn't very hard to figure out they were talking about DaVinci's "Proportions of the Human Figure". Yes, I am aware it was a best seller and everyone thought it was the best book they had every read. Don't get me wrong, it was a good read, but perhaps I was let down by all the hype.
One gets the feeling that his so-called experts are not as brilliant as they should be because the clues are easy and evident. At least in the 'DaVinci code', there were a few more surprises and it was a better read. I'm wondering why Dan Brown has chosen to make his cyrptographers, that are supposedly geniuses.. not as smart as the reader.. or maybe Dan Brown is brilliant.. that he writes in a way that makes the reader feel very smart! lol
If there were a science-fiction book out there that I would absolutely recommend to anyone... it would be a very small but fascinating book by Canadian author 'Robert J. Sawyer' called 'Calculating God'. It is not only a page turner and interesting but truly thought provoking. The book is about an alien that comes to earth and has discussions with an atheist paleontologist about creationism. Let me state, right here. right now..this book is not about religion or anything about what most of us were brought up and been taught about God and how he cares for every living soul etc. Let's just say I could not put this book down.
----
Saturday I went with Sylvian to an Exposition by the Club Richelieu. I promised but I must say I was bored. Boats, campers and fishing gear... oh..yes.. everthing I hate!! lol.. afterwards we had supper with a colleague of Sylvain's and his wife. The guy could talk only about one thing: work.. I tried to be seem interested.. but instead.. was thinking about the time.. I had a colorization to work on and the contest would go live at midnight. I had completely forgotten about it and had only remembered that afternoon. You can imagine me, at the restaurant.. pretending not be ansy and trying to sneak quick, not obvious glances at the time.
--
Sunday, there was a Mother's Day Brunch that we went to because it was benefitting our prodution. It was at the local golf club. It was a beautiful day and let me tell you a small golf club fills up very quickly when 400 people stop by for breakfast.
We were supposed to sing a few selections..but the place was really not set up for it..and I must say, all the better. We got to sit with friends and just enjoy the mid-morning. Brunch was delicious and we had a couple musicians playing a few feet away.. it was fun.
Here's a picture of my friend, Linda, with her mom (a real sweetheart) and her daughter, Sophie.
--
Monday night I went out again for a late-night walk.. this time with my camera and tripod in tow.
Had some fun a small park closeby doing some light painting.
--
Today I had something fun happen. A new client came to my home for a logo for an organisation that he is head of that sends medical and educative supplies to Haiti. I'm not so honky dory on doing logo's .. but I told him.. sure I would.. why not! I could use the money.
He looks around and sees my walls are full of paintings and starts asking .. you did these.. blah.. blah.. and I say yes. So he says, how come I've never seen you expose anything.
I sort of laugh and tell him I don't really consider myself a painter because it's just something that I do because I like to create. I am not easily categorized I think.. a little impressionism, a little abstract.. a little water color.. a little sculpture.. a little photography.. whatever strikes my fancy. I don't put myself as one thing, I just have an intense need to create.. it can be making a great supper, making curtains or a painting. He says.. I have someone outside in my car that I would like to introduce to you.
He brings in this man that is a part owner of a small gallery. This guy looks around and says.. would I like to have a 2 week showing at the gallery.. give him a bit of notice.. and he would fix it up for me.. everything, invitations for the vernissage.. opening nite. He looks at my photos.. says that would be cool too.
So this is a great opportunity but I don't know.. it implies so many things. It means I would have to frame a bunch of my stuff.. that's going to cost me a lot of money that I just don't have. I have a sort of portfolio with photos. I also have some paintings that I wouldn't mind showing to people but at the same time really are attached to them because (and not all of them, of course) but some of them truly have meaning for me.
This one in particular 'Woman Unfolding' seems to mesmerize everyone that comes to my home. Everyone wants to have it in their homes. It's 3 feet wide by 4 feet high. It's in my dining room.. and I'm very attached to it because it very much about me.. as a woman unfolding .. becoming my true self. This guy kept going back to it .. over and over again. I don't want to sell it. I know that is what artists do.. but this one I would really miss in my home.
Woman Unfolding:
Anyways, I have to think about it.. is this something I want.. or am I just afraid? Do I want glorification and or critique.. how thick is my skin?
If I don't do this, will I regret it later on? If I do this, will I regret it later on?
I have always enjoyed doing art and creating things because there never was a reason it had to be done.. I already see in my work where I create invitations and other projects for people that I need quite a bit of control over what I'm producing. I hate being micro-managed.
I also don't want to have to make paintings when I don't feel like it. I want to create when and how I want to.. does that make any sense?
Thursday, May 05, 2005
2nd attempt at blogging tonight! gah!
2nd attempt at writing this blog tonight..
I wrote the whole thing.. and was just going to preview..and my computer shut down by itself and rebooted too.. this is the second time in less than 2 weeks.. hopefully nothing freaky is going on with my computer.. :-(
---
Last night was my night for rehearsals. Anyone that reads this (or should I say if anyone reads this) they know that usually is a great night for me as I get to do something really fun and be with people that are smart and talented and amazing to be around. We always have fun and it's always energizing but last night we were perhaps a little more crazy than usual. Seems everyone was in the mood for laughing. Heck, even Suzanne the pianist.. who usually is so quiet and demure couldn't help herself..she was cracking up. Although we were a little nutty, we did get a lot of work done.
Usually we have all the sopranos to the right, all the altos to the left.. and the tenors and bases in the middle. We are at the point though that we know all our lyrics.. (well most of them.. amazing how quickly you can learn when you don't want to hold up a binder with over 200 pages of music in it for a few hours). So now we split up our groups into the people who will be playing peasants (yay!I'm going to be a peasant.. hopefully that means I can run around on stage bare feet! :-D... if you ever had to stand in one spot in high heels for 2 hours.. you'd understand and wholeheartedly agree with me) and the citizens of the future. This means we don't sit where we normally do.. everyone is mixed up with their own group.. so now all peasants are to the left of the room.. regardless of which voice group they sing.
I'm sitting in the last row and behind us are a few guys that have no chairs..they are all standing up. One guy comes up to me from behind and asks to borrow my pen.. no problem.. a while later, he comes back again and asks me again for my pen..again no problem. Then he comes up to me and sticks a piece of tape on my shoulder. Everyone is having fun..so I think this is funny and just laugh and take it off.. and then he comes back again to look at my music .. the alto sitting two down from me .. does a motion with her eyes.. to show me he's taking a peek at my cleavage. D'uh.. It never dawned on me that from his vantage point he could get a pretty good view. I wasn't sure if I was to be insulted..or proud that he thought they were worth peeking at! Anyways.. I lifted my book over my breasts so he could get a good look at the lyrics, and the book covered my chest completely.. I gave him a smirk..and I'm pretty sure he got the message!
---
Every spring, after the snow melts, the town flushes out the water through hydrants in town to get rid of all the sand and grime that gets into the system through melted snow.
Last night, around midnight.. I saw the trucks pull up and as they did , I grabbed my jacket and camera and was right there with them.. I'm sure they were saying.. who is this loony lady and why is she taking pictures of us in the dark for.
Here is one where a worker is just starting to release the water.
This one is up the street at the same time. As you can see the water is shooting right over that van.. guess he got a free car wash huh? lol
I wrote the whole thing.. and was just going to preview..and my computer shut down by itself and rebooted too.. this is the second time in less than 2 weeks.. hopefully nothing freaky is going on with my computer.. :-(
---
Last night was my night for rehearsals. Anyone that reads this (or should I say if anyone reads this) they know that usually is a great night for me as I get to do something really fun and be with people that are smart and talented and amazing to be around. We always have fun and it's always energizing but last night we were perhaps a little more crazy than usual. Seems everyone was in the mood for laughing. Heck, even Suzanne the pianist.. who usually is so quiet and demure couldn't help herself..she was cracking up. Although we were a little nutty, we did get a lot of work done.
Usually we have all the sopranos to the right, all the altos to the left.. and the tenors and bases in the middle. We are at the point though that we know all our lyrics.. (well most of them.. amazing how quickly you can learn when you don't want to hold up a binder with over 200 pages of music in it for a few hours). So now we split up our groups into the people who will be playing peasants (yay!I'm going to be a peasant.. hopefully that means I can run around on stage bare feet! :-D... if you ever had to stand in one spot in high heels for 2 hours.. you'd understand and wholeheartedly agree with me) and the citizens of the future. This means we don't sit where we normally do.. everyone is mixed up with their own group.. so now all peasants are to the left of the room.. regardless of which voice group they sing.
I'm sitting in the last row and behind us are a few guys that have no chairs..they are all standing up. One guy comes up to me from behind and asks to borrow my pen.. no problem.. a while later, he comes back again and asks me again for my pen..again no problem. Then he comes up to me and sticks a piece of tape on my shoulder. Everyone is having fun..so I think this is funny and just laugh and take it off.. and then he comes back again to look at my music .. the alto sitting two down from me .. does a motion with her eyes.. to show me he's taking a peek at my cleavage. D'uh.. It never dawned on me that from his vantage point he could get a pretty good view. I wasn't sure if I was to be insulted..or proud that he thought they were worth peeking at! Anyways.. I lifted my book over my breasts so he could get a good look at the lyrics, and the book covered my chest completely.. I gave him a smirk..and I'm pretty sure he got the message!
---
Every spring, after the snow melts, the town flushes out the water through hydrants in town to get rid of all the sand and grime that gets into the system through melted snow.
Last night, around midnight.. I saw the trucks pull up and as they did , I grabbed my jacket and camera and was right there with them.. I'm sure they were saying.. who is this loony lady and why is she taking pictures of us in the dark for.
Here is one where a worker is just starting to release the water.
This one is up the street at the same time. As you can see the water is shooting right over that van.. guess he got a free car wash huh? lol
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Sometimes I just screw up!
Preparing for the h2h photo tournament this time was really weird.. to start off with I could not for the life of me come up with a great idea.
The theme sounded so easy... color. the more the merrier, NO GREEN.
It was deceptive in it's simplicity. Usually when the theme is narrow and ordinary, I usually don't find it too difficult to come up with something a little out of the box.. not so out there that everone is lost.. but just enough to make an impact. The problem with the theme was there was no box to think out of.
I decided to try several different things.... wine glasses with water .. in a sort of
tower arrangement. I didn't want a pyramid.. so moved them all to one side. Let's just say that didn't quite work out and 6 out of the 7 glasses I was working with fell to their fragile death in my livingroom, unfortunately, nobody is expected to come to the funeral.
I then tried with glass vases..I wanted to replicate the idea of the wine glasses with each having a swirl of coloring that would look like thick smoke dancing their way through the glass. The swirls of color were either not enough or they looked all the same. I tried with different backgrounds and that just made matters worse as the background color was mixing with the foreground colors of the dye.. and as the liquid and vases were transparent, left me with either "blah- muddy colors" or the dreaded .. GREEN!!
so I abandoned that idea too.
I had earlier in the week borrowed a pink wig from Carmen. Kevin wore it for Halloween dressed up as a girl and I thought I could perhaps use it. My idea was to put it on a balloon head.. and paint on eyes and a mouth.. open as in surprise. Then blowing up a pair of blue latex gloves, I would have the gloves holding her (the balloon lady)'s head. She would look up in surprise and awe as many colored balloons were escaping to freedome. Well, the darned wig would not stay on the balloon head, no matter what. I tried weighing it down with pretty blue hair curlers, but then the head was much too heavy and I couldn't prop it up.
Did I mention this is late Saturday night.. Sunday morning? .. oh.yes!
anyways.. I abandon that project also..
Now I'm desperate.. I'm at the point I'm using colored hair elastics, you know the type with material on so they don't hurt. Well, now I had color..but it was just a jumbled mess!
I finally come up with something that I don't think it's the most original thing since sin.. but I at least I like it ... It is now 4AM in the morning.. I have 2 - 1000WATT lights aimed at my white living room ceiling .. creating bright but soft lighting without any harsh shadows on my new subject. If any of my neighbors were up.. they were probably thinking .. what's Maggie up to this time :-D Try and envision the hydro meter spinning like crazy behind my house.
I can't show it here right now.. because voting is not finished but I can tell you that I went through several shots that I liked and eliminated until I came down to the shot I would upload. I had one I really liked but it had fewer colors and probably would be more of my style if it were on my wall..but I really wanted more colors.. (the more the merrier thingee). I cropped the image, resized it .. sharpened it
Monday, I'm still mulling over if I should upload a different image to the tourney. I'm feeling angst at this moment. I usually take photos.. and when I have the right one.. I just know it.. I stop and I just know it's right. I didn't get that this time, I got many good shots.. but not that .. this is it!! shot! So I finally make my decision quite late Monday night.. I upload and cross my fingers.
Monday afternoon.. I'm looking at my image.. and something is not right..I don't like it was much as I did on my comp.. now why is that? very simple .. I uploaded the wrong image to the contest. I uploaded my uncropped version. Was the uncropped version really bad.. no.. but the cropped one obviously had better flow and the composition really was much more balanced. Would it have changed who the winner is.. maybe not.. but I would rather have the better image left behind in my stats.
anyways, yesterday I was pretty depressed about it.. mad at myself and sad too..
but today, I have decided to leave it behind. This is sort of my way to get rid of it.. to tell everyone how I screwed up. It 's not the first time and probably won't be the last so I better stop beating myself up about it.
Would it still be considered petty to ask for hugs though.. if anyone is giving them out today!! ;-)
Oh.. and a huge congratulations to Kirby and his wife Jen on their new baby girl, Rachel, born today! :-)
The theme sounded so easy... color. the more the merrier, NO GREEN.
It was deceptive in it's simplicity. Usually when the theme is narrow and ordinary, I usually don't find it too difficult to come up with something a little out of the box.. not so out there that everone is lost.. but just enough to make an impact. The problem with the theme was there was no box to think out of.
I decided to try several different things.... wine glasses with water .. in a sort of
tower arrangement. I didn't want a pyramid.. so moved them all to one side. Let's just say that didn't quite work out and 6 out of the 7 glasses I was working with fell to their fragile death in my livingroom, unfortunately, nobody is expected to come to the funeral.
I then tried with glass vases..I wanted to replicate the idea of the wine glasses with each having a swirl of coloring that would look like thick smoke dancing their way through the glass. The swirls of color were either not enough or they looked all the same. I tried with different backgrounds and that just made matters worse as the background color was mixing with the foreground colors of the dye.. and as the liquid and vases were transparent, left me with either "blah- muddy colors" or the dreaded .. GREEN!!
so I abandoned that idea too.
I had earlier in the week borrowed a pink wig from Carmen. Kevin wore it for Halloween dressed up as a girl and I thought I could perhaps use it. My idea was to put it on a balloon head.. and paint on eyes and a mouth.. open as in surprise. Then blowing up a pair of blue latex gloves, I would have the gloves holding her (the balloon lady)'s head. She would look up in surprise and awe as many colored balloons were escaping to freedome. Well, the darned wig would not stay on the balloon head, no matter what. I tried weighing it down with pretty blue hair curlers, but then the head was much too heavy and I couldn't prop it up.
Did I mention this is late Saturday night.. Sunday morning? .. oh.yes!
anyways.. I abandon that project also..
Now I'm desperate.. I'm at the point I'm using colored hair elastics, you know the type with material on so they don't hurt. Well, now I had color..but it was just a jumbled mess!
I finally come up with something that I don't think it's the most original thing since sin.. but I at least I like it ... It is now 4AM in the morning.. I have 2 - 1000WATT lights aimed at my white living room ceiling .. creating bright but soft lighting without any harsh shadows on my new subject. If any of my neighbors were up.. they were probably thinking .. what's Maggie up to this time :-D Try and envision the hydro meter spinning like crazy behind my house.
I can't show it here right now.. because voting is not finished but I can tell you that I went through several shots that I liked and eliminated until I came down to the shot I would upload. I had one I really liked but it had fewer colors and probably would be more of my style if it were on my wall..but I really wanted more colors.. (the more the merrier thingee). I cropped the image, resized it .. sharpened it
Monday, I'm still mulling over if I should upload a different image to the tourney. I'm feeling angst at this moment. I usually take photos.. and when I have the right one.. I just know it.. I stop and I just know it's right. I didn't get that this time, I got many good shots.. but not that .. this is it!! shot! So I finally make my decision quite late Monday night.. I upload and cross my fingers.
Monday afternoon.. I'm looking at my image.. and something is not right..I don't like it was much as I did on my comp.. now why is that? very simple .. I uploaded the wrong image to the contest. I uploaded my uncropped version. Was the uncropped version really bad.. no.. but the cropped one obviously had better flow and the composition really was much more balanced. Would it have changed who the winner is.. maybe not.. but I would rather have the better image left behind in my stats.
anyways, yesterday I was pretty depressed about it.. mad at myself and sad too..
but today, I have decided to leave it behind. This is sort of my way to get rid of it.. to tell everyone how I screwed up. It 's not the first time and probably won't be the last so I better stop beating myself up about it.
Would it still be considered petty to ask for hugs though.. if anyone is giving them out today!! ;-)
Oh.. and a huge congratulations to Kirby and his wife Jen on their new baby girl, Rachel, born today! :-)
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Obladi Obladah
Tueday night.. I lost my internet service.. well.. ok.. I didn't really lose it, I just couldn't surf out of our region. At first when I called my internet service they weren't sure what the problem was.. then after was told that they got a communiqué that it would be 4 to 6 hours. I was a little ansy, I had an email that I wanted to respond to and also a colorization critique that I promised and was hoping the person asking for the critique wouldn't think I had forgotten all about them.
It finally turned out that there was a fire that damaged some fibre optics in Ottawa .. and our internet access to the rest of the world was shut off for more than 12 hours. Funny how 10 years ago we weren't even on the internet and now it's such an ordinary part of our lives. I stayed up past 2am finishing up work for a client.
Yesterday, Wednesday, while I was in a life help I noticed that my "?" were typing out as "É"s so I was pretty sure that perhaps my browser had crashed.. so I clicked on all the x's to close down the multitude of windows I always seem to have open and when I closed the last one my computer completely shut down .. and rebooted by itself. When it came back.. it had that warning screen that it was going to check my drive.. yes.. go ahead and check it.. while it's checking.. I see text moving up my screen.. I see words.. such as Mozilla.. file error.. truncated... etc., ah!!! When my desktop reappears.. my profile is not longer available.. and I've lost my bookmarks..
and life goes on....
last night I had my rehearsals.. as every other Wednesday. As you may remember a few days before last rehearsal I had an encounter with my musical director's wife. There were a few things that she said that I had not written last time. She kept on repeating that he was a narcissistic B. and that he wanted all the attention for himself and that he thought he was better than anyone and that she was no longer good enough for him.
As I said ... I know him now since about 7 years.. I have never seen him as being a narcissist in anyway... he's actually quite humble and shy. I 'm not saying he doesn't like to be complimented... heck, I don't consider myself a narcissist and I like to be complimented too. Sometimes when I arrive at practice, he's there early and putting up chairs. I remember once saying to him.. James, why don't you get your students to put out the chairs. (he teaches musical theory - soflège- and musical history, orchestra etc., ) He's says to me.. nah.. I give them enough work.. I'll do it. That just doesn't seem to me the type of guy that is on a power trip.
Since then I realized that since this year.. James has been in a unusually good mood.. just happier in general.. not as stressed out. Of course now that I know.. I tend to watch everything he does and compare in my mind to how it used to be. I did notice that since a certain amount of time he's attitude toward life has changed.
I guess I should add here that a couple of years ago, James had a very serious accident. He was painting the shutters on the second story of his house and fell off the ladder and amazingly didn't die. His arm was broken in several places and his wrist was practically detached from his arm. For several months his arm looked like something from a Sci-Fi movie.. it was huge.. and had several pins and contraptions sticking out of it. Can you imagine being a concert pianist and hurting yourself like that. Amazingly he worked very hard and with much pain for several hours a day he practiced.. and he plays now like he did before... or perhaps better.. because he no longer takes it for granted.
Since that evening that I met his wife.. other people have told me they have been having problems for years and they are not surprised. Now.. I'm thinking that since his accident.. he's looking at his life in a new way.. It's half over.. he's maybe 45?.. and he almost lost it.. so now he has been given a second chance in a way. Supposedly the year after his accident he worked really hard trying to get their marriage to work.. tried to figure out what his priorities were. It 's not like he didn't try and threw it all away. I think he's just scared of living the rest of his life unhappily. He may have grown and she just hasn't grown with him.
I've met a few scoundrels in my lifetime and he just isn't one of them.
Of course, now knowing what I know..I look at him during rehearsals and analyze what I see before my face... especially the way he looks at her. He practically beams when he sees her face. She's doesn't look like a movie star either... but she seems very sweet.. very artsy..and friendly. She is also a lawyer.. so has a functioning brain.. she is certainly not a bimbo. I have no idea if it will work out for them... but this seems to be something they need to live right now and I'm not going to condemn them.
Obladi Oblada .. life goes on!
It finally turned out that there was a fire that damaged some fibre optics in Ottawa .. and our internet access to the rest of the world was shut off for more than 12 hours. Funny how 10 years ago we weren't even on the internet and now it's such an ordinary part of our lives. I stayed up past 2am finishing up work for a client.
Yesterday, Wednesday, while I was in a life help I noticed that my "?" were typing out as "É"s so I was pretty sure that perhaps my browser had crashed.. so I clicked on all the x's to close down the multitude of windows I always seem to have open and when I closed the last one my computer completely shut down .. and rebooted by itself. When it came back.. it had that warning screen that it was going to check my drive.. yes.. go ahead and check it.. while it's checking.. I see text moving up my screen.. I see words.. such as Mozilla.. file error.. truncated... etc., ah!!! When my desktop reappears.. my profile is not longer available.. and I've lost my bookmarks..
and life goes on....
last night I had my rehearsals.. as every other Wednesday. As you may remember a few days before last rehearsal I had an encounter with my musical director's wife. There were a few things that she said that I had not written last time. She kept on repeating that he was a narcissistic B. and that he wanted all the attention for himself and that he thought he was better than anyone and that she was no longer good enough for him.
As I said ... I know him now since about 7 years.. I have never seen him as being a narcissist in anyway... he's actually quite humble and shy. I 'm not saying he doesn't like to be complimented... heck, I don't consider myself a narcissist and I like to be complimented too. Sometimes when I arrive at practice, he's there early and putting up chairs. I remember once saying to him.. James, why don't you get your students to put out the chairs. (he teaches musical theory - soflège- and musical history, orchestra etc., ) He's says to me.. nah.. I give them enough work.. I'll do it. That just doesn't seem to me the type of guy that is on a power trip.
Since then I realized that since this year.. James has been in a unusually good mood.. just happier in general.. not as stressed out. Of course now that I know.. I tend to watch everything he does and compare in my mind to how it used to be. I did notice that since a certain amount of time he's attitude toward life has changed.
I guess I should add here that a couple of years ago, James had a very serious accident. He was painting the shutters on the second story of his house and fell off the ladder and amazingly didn't die. His arm was broken in several places and his wrist was practically detached from his arm. For several months his arm looked like something from a Sci-Fi movie.. it was huge.. and had several pins and contraptions sticking out of it. Can you imagine being a concert pianist and hurting yourself like that. Amazingly he worked very hard and with much pain for several hours a day he practiced.. and he plays now like he did before... or perhaps better.. because he no longer takes it for granted.
Since that evening that I met his wife.. other people have told me they have been having problems for years and they are not surprised. Now.. I'm thinking that since his accident.. he's looking at his life in a new way.. It's half over.. he's maybe 45?.. and he almost lost it.. so now he has been given a second chance in a way. Supposedly the year after his accident he worked really hard trying to get their marriage to work.. tried to figure out what his priorities were. It 's not like he didn't try and threw it all away. I think he's just scared of living the rest of his life unhappily. He may have grown and she just hasn't grown with him.
I've met a few scoundrels in my lifetime and he just isn't one of them.
Of course, now knowing what I know..I look at him during rehearsals and analyze what I see before my face... especially the way he looks at her. He practically beams when he sees her face. She's doesn't look like a movie star either... but she seems very sweet.. very artsy..and friendly. She is also a lawyer.. so has a functioning brain.. she is certainly not a bimbo. I have no idea if it will work out for them... but this seems to be something they need to live right now and I'm not going to condemn them.
Obladi Oblada .. life goes on!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Cabaret Richelieu
Last night, we went to the Cabaret Richelieu. It is a fun concert made up of sketches done by people here in town to raise money that is then distributed to different causes and projects. It is amazing how much they can cram into 2 hours.
Sorry about the quality, but being about 200 feet from the stage, and the camera hand-held at slow shutter speeds, I'm lucky to have gotten the shots that I did. It's a moment's like this that I sort of envy the owners of 10D's and 20D's .
Here was our M.C. for the evening... he also appeared as Spiderman at one point.
The two blondes.. beauties, aren't they?
This is from a sketch about "boucherons" normally guys, but here the women
proved they could sing just as badly as their male counterparts! lol
This is from a sketch with a psychiatrist and his patient. As you can see
the patient is somewhat stuck in the 80's.
Les Mama Mias:
One man orchestra: This guy played very well.. he made a double drum.. one consisting of a bear bottle with money it in.. tied to his leg.. and that contraption on his head with drumsticks sticking out that he clang about at the appropriate moment.
Here comes the judge:
The belly dancer:
and her students:
At the bar, everything is discussed from local politics to sports:
and everyone has their opinion.. especially the drunk:
This guy just got equiped at the local "Sports Expert Store" to be ready for this year's season of golf:
Here he explains how the skirt help him cheat.. because he can hide the ball between his legs.. walk stiffly and let it drop at the appropriate spot:
and he helps out a volunteer (well, he asked for a volunteer, but this guy (although unaware) was already picked out ahead of time and 2 guys were waiting to escort him to the stage. He tells him that he is going to teach him to be a better golfer and then exlains to him that he should make sure to keep both hands on the golf club, to not talk because he needs to concentrate.. he helps him out with a bit of tape! :-D
Xmas holidays at a resort in Florida:
Puppet man:
Surely everyone remembers that .avi that circulated on the net with a couple guys
playing pingpong.. but really it's someone behind the table dressed in black with
a ping pong at the end of a fishingline, here they guys sort of recreated it:
Lessons on how to take care of unruly children, start by teaching them while they are very young:
Before they become this:
and to end up a bit about Amerindian's singing gospel music.. this was pretty atrocious!:
Sorry about the quality, but being about 200 feet from the stage, and the camera hand-held at slow shutter speeds, I'm lucky to have gotten the shots that I did. It's a moment's like this that I sort of envy the owners of 10D's and 20D's .
Here was our M.C. for the evening... he also appeared as Spiderman at one point.
The two blondes.. beauties, aren't they?
This is from a sketch about "boucherons" normally guys, but here the women
proved they could sing just as badly as their male counterparts! lol
This is from a sketch with a psychiatrist and his patient. As you can see
the patient is somewhat stuck in the 80's.
Les Mama Mias:
One man orchestra: This guy played very well.. he made a double drum.. one consisting of a bear bottle with money it in.. tied to his leg.. and that contraption on his head with drumsticks sticking out that he clang about at the appropriate moment.
Here comes the judge:
The belly dancer:
and her students:
At the bar, everything is discussed from local politics to sports:
and everyone has their opinion.. especially the drunk:
This guy just got equiped at the local "Sports Expert Store" to be ready for this year's season of golf:
Here he explains how the skirt help him cheat.. because he can hide the ball between his legs.. walk stiffly and let it drop at the appropriate spot:
and he helps out a volunteer (well, he asked for a volunteer, but this guy (although unaware) was already picked out ahead of time and 2 guys were waiting to escort him to the stage. He tells him that he is going to teach him to be a better golfer and then exlains to him that he should make sure to keep both hands on the golf club, to not talk because he needs to concentrate.. he helps him out with a bit of tape! :-D
Xmas holidays at a resort in Florida:
Puppet man:
Surely everyone remembers that .avi that circulated on the net with a couple guys
playing pingpong.. but really it's someone behind the table dressed in black with
a ping pong at the end of a fishingline, here they guys sort of recreated it:
Lessons on how to take care of unruly children, start by teaching them while they are very young:
Before they become this:
and to end up a bit about Amerindian's singing gospel music.. this was pretty atrocious!:
Monday, April 18, 2005
My Sunday night walk
Last night I again went out for a walk.. it was past 10 but the weather was mild. When I got to the top of our street...I started walking down the boulevard.. and noticed how pretty the leafless tress were against the dark sky.. and went back home and picked up my tripod and camera and decided to take some shots.
I started to take a few..and I was too close up.. and decided to back up into James's driveway to be able to capture more of the tree. I saw movement in their bedroom window and someone at the window.. who I figured was either James or Joanne. (you may remember that James is our musical director). So I waved and turned and took a few shots. ... well, a moment later the door opened and out came Joanne, in her nightgown. I said, oh! I knew it would either be you or James at the window.. was too dark to see, I'm just trying to get a complete shot of the trees on the boulevard and from the sidewalk, I'm just a little too close. She says, oh.. James isn't here anymore.. so I think she's kidding, right? I say..you're joking.. and she says, no.. James has left with a woman from the troupe... 3 days ago. Josée something, a lawyer that joined our troupe this year. I'm flabbergasted.. she starts to cry and I hug her in the dark stillness and I'm not sure how to make her feel good. I don't really know Joanne very much. She doesn't really follow closely anything the troupe does, but the few times I have met her, she has always been very friendly and warm. She stayed out a few moments while I comforted her and then she went back into her home and closed the lights.
Well.. at first I was shocked, it was hard to believe. The photo session was obviously over. I couldn't just get back to doing it as if nothing had happened. I unclipped and put everything away and walked back home.
The first thing that comes to your mind is to condemn, right?... but I find it hard to do so. I know James now for about 6-7 years. He is not the playboy type, doesn't flirt, is kind of homely looking if you want the truth and aside from music is actually quite awkward and shy and not at all comfortable in social situations where he isn't doing music. I don't see him as running around on Joanne.. rather, I'm wondering if this isn't just something that just happened, I guess. Also, if Josée was this "hawt" young babe, I would say that oh.. his brain was in his pants... but she's actually very ordinary especially compared to his own wife who is very pretty.
So, yes, he's been married a long time but I don't know what it's like at his house, is he nagged every day, is he treated like a man, what is he missing that he went looking elsewhere? Now, I'm not saying he is not to fault here too.. but maybe we don't know the whole story.
I spoke to Claudette on the phone this morning, she must know James and Joanne for at least 15 years. She told me that they have been seperated before a few times. They used to live in Amos.. so I really did't get to see them as much. A few years ago they moved here. I guess it was most surprising because they just seemed so normal. Anyways... it's always sad to see something like that happen.
I didn't get any great photos last night.. this was the best of the few I got.
I started to take a few..and I was too close up.. and decided to back up into James's driveway to be able to capture more of the tree. I saw movement in their bedroom window and someone at the window.. who I figured was either James or Joanne. (you may remember that James is our musical director). So I waved and turned and took a few shots. ... well, a moment later the door opened and out came Joanne, in her nightgown. I said, oh! I knew it would either be you or James at the window.. was too dark to see, I'm just trying to get a complete shot of the trees on the boulevard and from the sidewalk, I'm just a little too close. She says, oh.. James isn't here anymore.. so I think she's kidding, right? I say..you're joking.. and she says, no.. James has left with a woman from the troupe... 3 days ago. Josée something, a lawyer that joined our troupe this year. I'm flabbergasted.. she starts to cry and I hug her in the dark stillness and I'm not sure how to make her feel good. I don't really know Joanne very much. She doesn't really follow closely anything the troupe does, but the few times I have met her, she has always been very friendly and warm. She stayed out a few moments while I comforted her and then she went back into her home and closed the lights.
Well.. at first I was shocked, it was hard to believe. The photo session was obviously over. I couldn't just get back to doing it as if nothing had happened. I unclipped and put everything away and walked back home.
The first thing that comes to your mind is to condemn, right?... but I find it hard to do so. I know James now for about 6-7 years. He is not the playboy type, doesn't flirt, is kind of homely looking if you want the truth and aside from music is actually quite awkward and shy and not at all comfortable in social situations where he isn't doing music. I don't see him as running around on Joanne.. rather, I'm wondering if this isn't just something that just happened, I guess. Also, if Josée was this "hawt" young babe, I would say that oh.. his brain was in his pants... but she's actually very ordinary especially compared to his own wife who is very pretty.
So, yes, he's been married a long time but I don't know what it's like at his house, is he nagged every day, is he treated like a man, what is he missing that he went looking elsewhere? Now, I'm not saying he is not to fault here too.. but maybe we don't know the whole story.
I spoke to Claudette on the phone this morning, she must know James and Joanne for at least 15 years. She told me that they have been seperated before a few times. They used to live in Amos.. so I really did't get to see them as much. A few years ago they moved here. I guess it was most surprising because they just seemed so normal. Anyways... it's always sad to see something like that happen.
I didn't get any great photos last night.. this was the best of the few I got.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
need to be alone
I notice more and more how I really do need time to be just alone.. just me and my thoughts... or no thoughts at all.. just being alone to breathe.. no phone, no tv... nobody.
Last night, after a late supper, I went out for a walk.. not to get exercise, not to see the sights or talk to anyone.. but just to be all alone. It must have been 9:30 or maybe even later.. I just had to get out ... no reason... something that is probably not well explained with words.. just felt ansy, and stifled... so I threw on a jacket, ipod in my pocket and left.
It would probably have been a great time to take my camera and a tripod and get some night shots...but I didn't want that.. it was a walk without real purpose. I just wanted to be on my own... without any direction to where I was going.. just meandering about listening to music. I didn't do any special soul searching, just felt free. No catering to anyone, no expectations, no responsabilities, just away.
You may find it mildly amusing that I can be so needy at times .. wanting someone's shoulder to lean on and then at the same time want to be alone by myself.
Last night, after a late supper, I went out for a walk.. not to get exercise, not to see the sights or talk to anyone.. but just to be all alone. It must have been 9:30 or maybe even later.. I just had to get out ... no reason... something that is probably not well explained with words.. just felt ansy, and stifled... so I threw on a jacket, ipod in my pocket and left.
It would probably have been a great time to take my camera and a tripod and get some night shots...but I didn't want that.. it was a walk without real purpose. I just wanted to be on my own... without any direction to where I was going.. just meandering about listening to music. I didn't do any special soul searching, just felt free. No catering to anyone, no expectations, no responsabilities, just away.
You may find it mildly amusing that I can be so needy at times .. wanting someone's shoulder to lean on and then at the same time want to be alone by myself.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
mundane stuff
I don't know why but Tueday night I went to bed but didn't sleep.. my eyes were closed, my body was laying horizontally.. but I was awake... I kept opening my eyes, and checking what time it was. Yesterday morning when I got up I felt like I should be going to bed.. I felt pooped.
I had rehearsals last night like every Wednesday.. as usual.. you get a burst of energy.. and while I was there I felt really fabulous, when I got home I was still up on the adrenaline. When I finally did hit the pillow though.. I was a goner. Slept very very deeply... and today feel great! :)
Last night at rehearsals we had 2 new-comers.. Hugo, whom I already know and a new girl called Patricia. She seems to learn extremely fast and was completely at ease with everyone right off the bat. Ah.. I remember when I first started.. how shy I was... I had joined and had never done anything like it before and was very intimidated by it all.. I didn't know how to read music so it was all up to my little ears to figure it all out.. So very different from this girl... I think she has certainly done this before.. anyways.. she fit right in, as if she had always been a part of the troupe.
As for Hugo, well, he sang with us before but when his boyfriend, Yvon decided he wouldn't be singing with us anymore.. then Hugo wasn't allowed to sing with us either. I always felt bad for Hugo.. he's the sweetest kid and he would do everything for Yvon. Yvon would always put him down... even in front of other people, so I can't imagine how bad it could have gotten at home. I sang for awhile with a small ensemble that did pop songs that Yvon had organized but I left because I thought Yvon was mean and spiteful and I didn't like being around someone like that. Anyways.. a few weeks ago.. they broke up.. Hugo leaving Yvon. So Hugo has decided to come back and sing with us!
Ok.. enough gossiping! lol
I had rehearsals last night like every Wednesday.. as usual.. you get a burst of energy.. and while I was there I felt really fabulous, when I got home I was still up on the adrenaline. When I finally did hit the pillow though.. I was a goner. Slept very very deeply... and today feel great! :)
Last night at rehearsals we had 2 new-comers.. Hugo, whom I already know and a new girl called Patricia. She seems to learn extremely fast and was completely at ease with everyone right off the bat. Ah.. I remember when I first started.. how shy I was... I had joined and had never done anything like it before and was very intimidated by it all.. I didn't know how to read music so it was all up to my little ears to figure it all out.. So very different from this girl... I think she has certainly done this before.. anyways.. she fit right in, as if she had always been a part of the troupe.
As for Hugo, well, he sang with us before but when his boyfriend, Yvon decided he wouldn't be singing with us anymore.. then Hugo wasn't allowed to sing with us either. I always felt bad for Hugo.. he's the sweetest kid and he would do everything for Yvon. Yvon would always put him down... even in front of other people, so I can't imagine how bad it could have gotten at home. I sang for awhile with a small ensemble that did pop songs that Yvon had organized but I left because I thought Yvon was mean and spiteful and I didn't like being around someone like that. Anyways.. a few weeks ago.. they broke up.. Hugo leaving Yvon. So Hugo has decided to come back and sing with us!
Ok.. enough gossiping! lol
Friday, April 08, 2005
just has not been my week.
with all the things happening with my dad.. my week was already off to a lousy start.. and seems everthing I do and touch is just not working out.
I had a h2h doing a panorama.. well..of course I lost.. How can I compete with fabulous castles.. and stone bridges on rivers all in the same image.
Many people thought because I did only 4 or so feet that it must have not been difficult.. and actually easy.. of course they don't know that I redid the shoot 4 times.. and the fact that everything is so close.. moving just a tad put everything in a completely different perspective.
I also entered a few poems in the beginner spring contest.. they are freefalling as we speak.. I don't know why I persist trying to write .. I'm just not good at it.. that may be the reason why.. I don't like not being good at things. Sadly, I write like a 4 year old... argh..
To top things off... I really needed something to lift my spirits. When I saw there was an invisible contest that came along.. I was very happy. Last year I did some invisibles.. and didn't really read the rules.. and got dq'd because they were movie actresses and not musicians.
Then the contest appeared.. yay! this will be great.. I'll take the better of the two.. tweak it.. and make it even better and submit it.. then enjoy the thrill and angst of watching the leaderboard... It was also a great idea because with the mentoring program that we started in the photography section, I was especially busy for the last few days.. matching up mentors and mentees. I didn't have a lot of time to do a brand new invisible.. but since nobody had seen this one... I could enter it.
Well.. it was not to be .. before entering.. a recheck of the rules.. proves fatal to my image.. it has to be a movie scene... oh.. so I have to forget about that too.
I was so disappointed.. another of these might not come up for a year.. and then it may just be actresses from the 40's or 50's.. who knows.
seems all I've done here is whine this week.. but things have just not been going my way.
I had a h2h doing a panorama.. well..of course I lost.. How can I compete with fabulous castles.. and stone bridges on rivers all in the same image.
Many people thought because I did only 4 or so feet that it must have not been difficult.. and actually easy.. of course they don't know that I redid the shoot 4 times.. and the fact that everything is so close.. moving just a tad put everything in a completely different perspective.
I also entered a few poems in the beginner spring contest.. they are freefalling as we speak.. I don't know why I persist trying to write .. I'm just not good at it.. that may be the reason why.. I don't like not being good at things. Sadly, I write like a 4 year old... argh..
To top things off... I really needed something to lift my spirits. When I saw there was an invisible contest that came along.. I was very happy. Last year I did some invisibles.. and didn't really read the rules.. and got dq'd because they were movie actresses and not musicians.
Then the contest appeared.. yay! this will be great.. I'll take the better of the two.. tweak it.. and make it even better and submit it.. then enjoy the thrill and angst of watching the leaderboard... It was also a great idea because with the mentoring program that we started in the photography section, I was especially busy for the last few days.. matching up mentors and mentees. I didn't have a lot of time to do a brand new invisible.. but since nobody had seen this one... I could enter it.
Well.. it was not to be .. before entering.. a recheck of the rules.. proves fatal to my image.. it has to be a movie scene... oh.. so I have to forget about that too.
I was so disappointed.. another of these might not come up for a year.. and then it may just be actresses from the 40's or 50's.. who knows.
seems all I've done here is whine this week.. but things have just not been going my way.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
ah.. Wednesday
Wednesday, may very well be my favorite day of the week. Today especially... with all the stuff with my dad going on, it feels so good to go somewhere and be so occupied and concentrated on doing something that you are completely in another space and don't have a minute to think or worry about other things.
Since last week, we are no longer doing ateliers and James is so amazing, pushing us to be better and better. There are so many very fast and energetic pieces, you practically get a workout.
Tonight some reporter came by and taped us and filmed a bit of us practicing. Normally you would think that would be extremely distracting but we were all so concentrated on James and into his movements for harsh.. soft.. majestic.. mysterious.. whatever he wanted that we totally forgot she was there. No wonder I can leave my troubles at the door when I arrive there. I always leave with a natural "high".
Since last week, we are no longer doing ateliers and James is so amazing, pushing us to be better and better. There are so many very fast and energetic pieces, you practically get a workout.
Tonight some reporter came by and taped us and filmed a bit of us practicing. Normally you would think that would be extremely distracting but we were all so concentrated on James and into his movements for harsh.. soft.. majestic.. mysterious.. whatever he wanted that we totally forgot she was there. No wonder I can leave my troubles at the door when I arrive there. I always leave with a natural "high".
frustrated
Oh, I hoped to not have to whine anymore, but I`m very frustrated with my dad. He finally got out of the hospital on Monday. Before leaving he had an X-ray to take and a chest exam.
Yesterday, he was already complaining about the new pills they were giving him, because they changed the prescription and now he had to pay for new ones and the other ones were wasted, if you want. I understand his point of view.. but the fact that he has new pills for his lungs.. may be causing an interaction with his other pills, but it`s like talking a to a brick wall..
This morning he had to see the lung specialist about his tests.. he was being a jerk and pretty much told the doctor off, said that they aren`t doing any for him and he didn`t need his help.
Now a worker from the CLSC called me so I can tell him that a nurse will be coming to see him once a week to take a blood sample, listen to his chest and take his blood pressure... only for a few weeks to make sure he is ok.. and so he doesn`t have to go to the hospital.
Well.. he was very upset, doesn`t want anyone to come.. complained and said he wasn`t going to open the door and then yells at me as if it were my fault.
I swear, he`s going to drive me nuts. I would not take this sort of guff from anyone but my dad.. and he knows that I think. Telling this man to chill out, as ELB has suggested to me, just won`t work.. it will just make him angrier..
Anyways... just needed to get that off my chest. He always says to me `you`re just like your mother` ... he doesn`t say it as a compliment..he means, I`m too sensitive.. not hard enough.. but for me, it is a compliment.. because I don`t ever want to be like he is.
Yesterday, he was already complaining about the new pills they were giving him, because they changed the prescription and now he had to pay for new ones and the other ones were wasted, if you want. I understand his point of view.. but the fact that he has new pills for his lungs.. may be causing an interaction with his other pills, but it`s like talking a to a brick wall..
This morning he had to see the lung specialist about his tests.. he was being a jerk and pretty much told the doctor off, said that they aren`t doing any for him and he didn`t need his help.
Now a worker from the CLSC called me so I can tell him that a nurse will be coming to see him once a week to take a blood sample, listen to his chest and take his blood pressure... only for a few weeks to make sure he is ok.. and so he doesn`t have to go to the hospital.
Well.. he was very upset, doesn`t want anyone to come.. complained and said he wasn`t going to open the door and then yells at me as if it were my fault.
I swear, he`s going to drive me nuts. I would not take this sort of guff from anyone but my dad.. and he knows that I think. Telling this man to chill out, as ELB has suggested to me, just won`t work.. it will just make him angrier..
Anyways... just needed to get that off my chest. He always says to me `you`re just like your mother` ... he doesn`t say it as a compliment..he means, I`m too sensitive.. not hard enough.. but for me, it is a compliment.. because I don`t ever want to be like he is.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
a crink
Yesterday I woke up with a crink in my neck. I must have slept in an odd position. I couldn't really turn my neck much to the left or lift my arm.. it was quite painful. I spent the whole day walking around like some kind of robot. It is very difficult to look relaxed and confident when you are walking around like a stiff board, the crink in my neck also put quite a crink in my style ;-)
Remember the incident with the elevator I talked about the other day. Yesterday when I went to visit my dad, there was huge yellow tape with DANGER written all over it crisscrossed all over the elevator door.
My dad is getting ansy at the hospital. He's getting better but bored and not too happy about it. When I got there last night he was in one of his moods. As nice as I tried to be, he would not have any of it. If I asked him something, he answered with stuff like "WTF do I know" in a mean and sarcastic tone. If I tried to comfort him.. it was "What? .. do I look like I'm dying? " I sat there, grinned and took it. ugh! Sometimes I wonder if he even cares that he is so hurtful to me. I actually think it gives him some sort of joy to know he has that power over me. I go and visit him, hoping it will make him feel better to have some company and I come home depressed and hurt.
--
Well, while I was writing this blog entry, my dad called and he is getting out tomorrow. Hopefully, this will put him in a better mood. Being the only child that lives close-by, the responsability pretty much falls into my hands. Sometimes I feel so alone.. not knowing quite where to turn to be able to breathe. I have friends, but not anyone I really confide in or turn to when in pain. There was one person that I believed cared, that I thought I could be very open and truthful with but now I realize doesn't really. Turns out words like: I'll be there for you, you can come to me anytime and talk, are just that: words. I guess somewhere inside of me, in my heart, I'm hoping he'll read these words and say.. no, no, no.. I'm here.. come, let me comfort you.. but my head comes back with reality.. and says: nah.. he doesn't even read this anymore.
Remember the incident with the elevator I talked about the other day. Yesterday when I went to visit my dad, there was huge yellow tape with DANGER written all over it crisscrossed all over the elevator door.
My dad is getting ansy at the hospital. He's getting better but bored and not too happy about it. When I got there last night he was in one of his moods. As nice as I tried to be, he would not have any of it. If I asked him something, he answered with stuff like "WTF do I know" in a mean and sarcastic tone. If I tried to comfort him.. it was "What? .. do I look like I'm dying? " I sat there, grinned and took it. ugh! Sometimes I wonder if he even cares that he is so hurtful to me. I actually think it gives him some sort of joy to know he has that power over me. I go and visit him, hoping it will make him feel better to have some company and I come home depressed and hurt.
--
Well, while I was writing this blog entry, my dad called and he is getting out tomorrow. Hopefully, this will put him in a better mood. Being the only child that lives close-by, the responsability pretty much falls into my hands. Sometimes I feel so alone.. not knowing quite where to turn to be able to breathe. I have friends, but not anyone I really confide in or turn to when in pain. There was one person that I believed cared, that I thought I could be very open and truthful with but now I realize doesn't really. Turns out words like: I'll be there for you, you can come to me anytime and talk, are just that: words. I guess somewhere inside of me, in my heart, I'm hoping he'll read these words and say.. no, no, no.. I'm here.. come, let me comfort you.. but my head comes back with reality.. and says: nah.. he doesn't even read this anymore.
Friday, April 01, 2005
last two weeks
Well, I haven't blogged a lot in the last two weeks, just busier than normal I guess.. and probably a little lazy too.
Since my last entry my dad has gone into the hospital. He had a bad cold and the doctor gave him antibiotics but the infection still continued into his lungs and now he has pneumonia. This is the second time he gets pneumonia but this time doesn't seem to be as bad as last time. I think he may actually get out of the hospital today .. or very soon. Yesterday they took off his I.V. so that's a good sign. Also he is getting feisty and snarky again..which although I hate, means he's feeling much better.
Last night when I went to see him I had a weird thing happen with the elevator. It almost felt like a April Fool's joke done one day ahead.
I arrive at the hospital, take the elevator to the left. press Floor #3.
I get out of the elevator, walk straight forward, pass a nurse's station and then to the left.. As I'm walking down the corridor, I have a sense that something is not quite the same.. I look at the room numbers .. and geez-Louise, they say 412- 411- 410 .. I'm on the wrong floor!
Get back in the elevator. Press Floor #3. Watch it descend.. slow down close to floor #3..but keep on going all the way down to Floor #1.
Nutso..right? So I get out.. feeling pretty stupid... then get on the second elevator which brings me up to the 3rd floor finally.
While I'm visiting, my dad would like something cold to drink.. so I offer to go to the cafeteria and get him a gingerale. I take the same elevator as the first time.. press 2.. no problem.. it brings me down to 2.
When it's time to go back up.. I get back in this same elevator and yes, again.. press #3. The door closes I watch the numbers rise and whoa.. I'm on four.. press again.. I'm now on 5. I get out with the intention of getting on the other elevator.. but feel foolish as there are nurses watching me .. so I get back on the same elevator and try my luck again.. I just know it's not going to work.... but I press 3.. it brings me down to 2. Now I have just about had my trip (mon voyage!! ) Now I don't care how dumb it looks, I 'm not getting back on that elevator.. I 'll wait for the next one. I finally get on the second one and back to the 3rd floor but I must admit I was almost waiting to hear someone scream out: Smile!! you're on candid camera.
---
Wednesday I was pretty pooped.. the night before there was a database glitch at Worth and jax, jago and I spent a few hours manually putting things back where they belonged.. Heck.. even hbomb came by and gave a helping hand. It was hectic but exciting at the same time to try and get things fixed quickly. The jurors that were online were a huge help. They responded to tons of live helps.. of people in angst .. where is my entry? .. I can't see it in my stats!.. my text entry is in photography.. what's going on?
Next day, I had a photoshoot to do, deal with the tax people for a problem (yes.. again the dumb taxes) go see my dad at the hospital and then rehearsals at night.
Rehearsals were fun as always. We have finally gotten past the atelier stage and work the whole practice together. There is one song we did together that James said something about being fast.. so.. after we did it once .. we thought it was fast but heck..not so bad.. we could pull that off easily... then he's says.. consider that as first gear.. well.. he brought us up to 4th gear... It was crazy and fun. We are having a blast.
--
I didn't like the results of my photoshoot and decided to do it over. It's a panoramic shot indoors.. so you probably see theproblem that I'm going to have to keep the light consistant. I set up a huge bench .. 8' feet long.. covered it and set up a mobile horizontal blind thing that I made last summer. It isn't wide enough .. so I had to take a picture.. move the bench a few inches.. take another picture.. move the bench again. I took several pictures.. and would have to stitch and blend them in photoshop.
I didn't like the effect at all.. I changed my props.. did it again.. this time the props were better but the stitching of the blinds was horrendous..it just wouldn't work. I then took off the blinds. put up vellum paper..and set up lights behind.. which gave a wonderful glow.. and redid the shoot. 4 Photoshoots for 1 photograph.. yep.. I guess I am crazy! lol
Since my last entry my dad has gone into the hospital. He had a bad cold and the doctor gave him antibiotics but the infection still continued into his lungs and now he has pneumonia. This is the second time he gets pneumonia but this time doesn't seem to be as bad as last time. I think he may actually get out of the hospital today .. or very soon. Yesterday they took off his I.V. so that's a good sign. Also he is getting feisty and snarky again..which although I hate, means he's feeling much better.
Last night when I went to see him I had a weird thing happen with the elevator. It almost felt like a April Fool's joke done one day ahead.
I arrive at the hospital, take the elevator to the left. press Floor #3.
I get out of the elevator, walk straight forward, pass a nurse's station and then to the left.. As I'm walking down the corridor, I have a sense that something is not quite the same.. I look at the room numbers .. and geez-Louise, they say 412- 411- 410 .. I'm on the wrong floor!
Get back in the elevator. Press Floor #3. Watch it descend.. slow down close to floor #3..but keep on going all the way down to Floor #1.
Nutso..right? So I get out.. feeling pretty stupid... then get on the second elevator which brings me up to the 3rd floor finally.
While I'm visiting, my dad would like something cold to drink.. so I offer to go to the cafeteria and get him a gingerale. I take the same elevator as the first time.. press 2.. no problem.. it brings me down to 2.
When it's time to go back up.. I get back in this same elevator and yes, again.. press #3. The door closes I watch the numbers rise and whoa.. I'm on four.. press again.. I'm now on 5. I get out with the intention of getting on the other elevator.. but feel foolish as there are nurses watching me .. so I get back on the same elevator and try my luck again.. I just know it's not going to work.... but I press 3.. it brings me down to 2. Now I have just about had my trip (mon voyage!! ) Now I don't care how dumb it looks, I 'm not getting back on that elevator.. I 'll wait for the next one. I finally get on the second one and back to the 3rd floor but I must admit I was almost waiting to hear someone scream out: Smile!! you're on candid camera.
---
Wednesday I was pretty pooped.. the night before there was a database glitch at Worth and jax, jago and I spent a few hours manually putting things back where they belonged.. Heck.. even hbomb came by and gave a helping hand. It was hectic but exciting at the same time to try and get things fixed quickly. The jurors that were online were a huge help. They responded to tons of live helps.. of people in angst .. where is my entry? .. I can't see it in my stats!.. my text entry is in photography.. what's going on?
Next day, I had a photoshoot to do, deal with the tax people for a problem (yes.. again the dumb taxes) go see my dad at the hospital and then rehearsals at night.
Rehearsals were fun as always. We have finally gotten past the atelier stage and work the whole practice together. There is one song we did together that James said something about being fast.. so.. after we did it once .. we thought it was fast but heck..not so bad.. we could pull that off easily... then he's says.. consider that as first gear.. well.. he brought us up to 4th gear... It was crazy and fun. We are having a blast.
--
I didn't like the results of my photoshoot and decided to do it over. It's a panoramic shot indoors.. so you probably see theproblem that I'm going to have to keep the light consistant. I set up a huge bench .. 8' feet long.. covered it and set up a mobile horizontal blind thing that I made last summer. It isn't wide enough .. so I had to take a picture.. move the bench a few inches.. take another picture.. move the bench again. I took several pictures.. and would have to stitch and blend them in photoshop.
I didn't like the effect at all.. I changed my props.. did it again.. this time the props were better but the stitching of the blinds was horrendous..it just wouldn't work. I then took off the blinds. put up vellum paper..and set up lights behind.. which gave a wonderful glow.. and redid the shoot. 4 Photoshoots for 1 photograph.. yep.. I guess I am crazy! lol
Saturday, March 19, 2005
photos.. older productions
I was talking to Tracey yesterday and she was asking about older productions and was surprised how long it took us to put something together..so I told her I would put up some pictures showing what we have already done.. in front and behind the scenes. Sadly I don't have any better pictures than these... but this year I promise to take better ones.
so here are some of the pics, I hope you enjoy them. :)
Dormons!
again Dormons!
behind scenes, waiting
Hippies :)
Les Abeilles
The Male Bee .. Bzzz!!
Les Policemen d'Amour
Demoness
Always wanted to be a goddess
Les Champs
Again Les Champs:
Makeup
Cerebus and friends
L'Oiseau
Dance:
so here are some of the pics, I hope you enjoy them. :)
Dormons!
again Dormons!
behind scenes, waiting
Hippies :)
Les Abeilles
The Male Bee .. Bzzz!!
Les Policemen d'Amour
Demoness
Always wanted to be a goddess
Les Champs
Again Les Champs:
Makeup
Cerebus and friends
L'Oiseau
Dance:
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)