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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

out of place but really cool!

I've been really not doing as much photography as I would like. I 've had all the excuses but now is the time to start again. I guess I'm a little afraid of staring back at my monitor and just seeing the mediocrity of the photos... don't take any, don't have to worry about how good you are.

Well, anyways, last week I went into the woods that are really very very close to here
and it was blistering cold. I was only out for about an hour and the whole while my fingertips were very cold.

Here are a few of the photos taken that day:






Yesterday, I went with Carmen to Legal Aid, then the bank, the town hall, to her Lawyer's office then for a coffee.

We decided to stop at the grocery store before finally going home and I'm so glad we did. There is a small park just in front of the grocery store where people like to sit and chat or people watch and I could hear "Allo! Allo! "

To my surprise, up in a cedar tree.. was a beautiful parrot. It was saying Hello. It then continued with some slang.. saying "Salut, Mec, viens-tu?" the equivalent in English of "Hey, dude, you comin'? "

When people laughed it would mimic and laugh also. I asked where it's owner was as it was just sitting there in the tree.. no explanation how it got there. It seems his owner was gone for a coffee with a friend. He obviously wasn't too worried that someone would walk off with his gorgeous bird. I took several pictures ... perhaps 50-60.

Here are a couple.




What a pleasant surprise!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Spring is in the air.. but not quite!

Well, it's been ages since I've posted so I guess it's time to let you know how I am.

Spring is supposedly here, but it's still cold outside. We had a few really nice days last week, but there is still plenty of snow on the grass although the streets are for the most part clean and dry. This morning however, I woke up to streets covered in snow.. the white stuff was falling from the sky very heavily and it was cold. I must admit though, that it was very pretty; it covered up the dirt and grime that marks the melting snow and makes everything look dirty and grungy. Tomorrow, we are expecting more of the same.

On a sad note, one of my girlfriends is going through exactly what I did last year. Her husband has met someone new at his job and now after being together since 21 years.. all of her adult life... he's told her that he no longer finds her exciting and likes her now just as a friend...and he's leaving. Her life is more complicated than mine was too, she has two children.. and her son is just entering puberty. She also has multiple sclerosis. She's been very lucky that it was found early and has only had 2 really bad bouts with the disease in the last 15 years... but I can see this being a really scary time for her.. and now she feels like she's only been a burden all this time. I wish I knew how to fix things for her.. but there is no fixing to do. He doesn't want to get any kind of counselling..and has for the last month been trying to relive his teen years. He, all of a sudden wants several tattoos.. one on his ring finger, a dragon on his chest and some aboriginal tattoos that go from his upper arm to his shoulder. He has been taking his cell phone into his bathtub with him every night. They went out of town on the weekend for their son had some indoor soccer game and he had taken off his wedding ring and put another kind of ring in it's place. She's devastated. I can only hold her and let her know that it will get better. I know she can't see that right now. She's too full of pain.

As much as I would like to be able to fix it, I cannot but I know (through experience) that she will come out of this, like me, happier, stronger ... a better person.

I guess you could say this is the reason why I can say this:

Last time I posted, I talked a bit about a guy I liked and how he was amazing and smart and talented he was. I'm not sure how much I should talk about him, but I must say, I'm almost ready to burst at the seams with joy! He is, of course, still in my life and I couldn't be happier. He treats me with love and respect and is very sweet. Yes, he's a NICE guy. You all remember the phrase: Nice Guys finish last!.. Girls want Bad Boys!.. Well, when your nice guy is smart and funny and exciting.. he doesn't have to be disrespectful or condescending as many bad guys are. He has enough confidence in himself not to have to play that 'macho' crap role. Now, I'm not saying he's a wuss... cause he's far from that. He's just really upfront about who he is and doesn't play mind games with me.

When I'm with him I feel so good... everything seems wonderful. Sometimes, when he isn't around... I worry. Am I good enough? What does he see in me? How can I hold on to this precious person when I have nothing really to offer. They say time heals all wounds... but the scars are the reminder. These are my scars. Not truly believing it is possible to have someone love me ... just for me. I have had my share of being needy with him. I've expressed my doubts...how my fears creep up on me and make me afraid. I'm really comfortable with him though and have felt free to tell him all this crap and let him see me vulnerable and scared and unsure of myself. Here is where amazing comes in. He's very gentle with me and helps me see that I am a person of value. That I'm fun and smart too. He makes me feel pretty and good about myself.
That he enjoys being with me.

We are also very much alike in many ways. We like so much of the same things and we get along so well. We also seem to have a very similar sense of what is important to us and what is not.

There is so much more to this story, that I wish I could tell you all...but at the moment, circumstances are that I cannot. No, it has nothing to do with him being attached or any other bad thing you may be conjuring up. Everything between us is very kosher and perhaps one day in the future I'll be able to reveal all and you will understand. I can say this though. I love him and I'm also 'in love' with him. Everyday is an exciting day for me. When I wake up, the first person I want to talk to is him. When I go to sleep, I want to hear his breath on my neck. Yes, I breathe this person... sometimes it's like he's in my body ... such is how close I feel to him.

Intelligence wise... he's always fun to talk to. He's brilliant and clever and always interesting, never, ever boring. Talent-wise.. he's just so darn talented... I'm simply awed by how talented he is... in so many domains, too. Looks like he got more than his fair share.

Emotionally wise.. he's supportive and tender and funny and incredibly patient.

Character wise.. he's a mensch. Very honest, very upfront but never hurtful. Sometimes when I over complicate what's going on around me about things I shouldn't .. he helps to make it simple and shows me how silly I'm being to worry about such things. He reminds me that I'm strong and helps me be brave. When I reach out into the future and speculate how things might be for us... he lets me know that we are on the same page.. that I'm not being pushy and that we are moving in a similar direction.

and yeah.. he's kind of gorgeous too... :-) and well, I'm not sure if they have invented a word for how crazy and excited we can get together... and maybe that's a good thing.. cause that word would be so 'hot' it would cause the books that contained it to literally burst into flames! lol... :-D

We've known each other a little while now.. but really were only acquaintances until last spring. We started really to get to know each other this fall, and in late November, finally broke down and declared how we were feeling for each other. It's like this mutual thing that just grew and exploded. Now it's been over 5 months and the fireworks are more brilliant and wonderful than ever.

Almost a year ago.. my life felt like it had fallen apart. I was so hurt..and people.. many of you were so supportive and let me know that something better would be just around the corner. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't see through the fog.. I put myself down (and I still have my moments of self-doubt) and I had a hard time to see anything good in my future. Well, it is true.. this is better. I'm much happier, I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to walk around on eggshells not being able to express who I am and what I enjoy.

You guys were here to share in my pain, now you can share in my joy!