need to be alone

I notice more and more how I really do need time to be just alone.. just me and my thoughts... or no thoughts at all.. just being alone to breathe.. no phone, no tv... nobody.

Last night, after a late supper, I went out for a walk.. not to get exercise, not to see the sights or talk to anyone.. but just to be all alone. It must have been 9:30 or maybe even later.. I just had to get out ... no reason... something that is probably not well explained with words.. just felt ansy, and stifled... so I threw on a jacket, ipod in my pocket and left.

It would probably have been a great time to take my camera and a tripod and get some night shots...but I didn't want that.. it was a walk without real purpose. I just wanted to be on my own... without any direction to where I was going.. just meandering about listening to music. I didn't do any special soul searching, just felt free. No catering to anyone, no expectations, no responsabilities, just away.

You may find it mildly amusing that I can be so needy at times .. wanting someone's shoulder to lean on and then at the same time want to be alone by myself.