Obladi Obladah

Tueday night.. I lost my internet service.. well.. ok.. I didn't really lose it, I just couldn't surf out of our region. At first when I called my internet service they weren't sure what the problem was.. then after was told that they got a communiqué that it would be 4 to 6 hours. I was a little ansy, I had an email that I wanted to respond to and also a colorization critique that I promised and was hoping the person asking for the critique wouldn't think I had forgotten all about them.

It finally turned out that there was a fire that damaged some fibre optics in Ottawa .. and our internet access to the rest of the world was shut off for more than 12 hours. Funny how 10 years ago we weren't even on the internet and now it's such an ordinary part of our lives. I stayed up past 2am finishing up work for a client.

Yesterday, Wednesday, while I was in a life help I noticed that my "?" were typing out as "É"s so I was pretty sure that perhaps my browser had crashed.. so I clicked on all the x's to close down the multitude of windows I always seem to have open and when I closed the last one my computer completely shut down .. and rebooted by itself. When it came back.. it had that warning screen that it was going to check my drive.. yes.. go ahead and check it.. while it's checking.. I see text moving up my screen.. I see words.. such as Mozilla.. file error.. truncated... etc., ah!!! When my desktop reappears.. my profile is not longer available.. and I've lost my bookmarks..

and life goes on....

last night I had my rehearsals.. as every other Wednesday. As you may remember a few days before last rehearsal I had an encounter with my musical director's wife. There were a few things that she said that I had not written last time. She kept on repeating that he was a narcissistic B. and that he wanted all the attention for himself and that he thought he was better than anyone and that she was no longer good enough for him.

As I said ... I know him now since about 7 years.. I have never seen him as being a narcissist in anyway... he's actually quite humble and shy. I 'm not saying he doesn't like to be complimented... heck, I don't consider myself a narcissist and I like to be complimented too. Sometimes when I arrive at practice, he's there early and putting up chairs. I remember once saying to him.. James, why don't you get your students to put out the chairs. (he teaches musical theory - soflège- and musical history, orchestra etc., ) He's says to me.. nah.. I give them enough work.. I'll do it. That just doesn't seem to me the type of guy that is on a power trip.

Since then I realized that since this year.. James has been in a unusually good mood.. just happier in general.. not as stressed out. Of course now that I know.. I tend to watch everything he does and compare in my mind to how it used to be. I did notice that since a certain amount of time he's attitude toward life has changed.

I guess I should add here that a couple of years ago, James had a very serious accident. He was painting the shutters on the second story of his house and fell off the ladder and amazingly didn't die. His arm was broken in several places and his wrist was practically detached from his arm. For several months his arm looked like something from a Sci-Fi movie.. it was huge.. and had several pins and contraptions sticking out of it. Can you imagine being a concert pianist and hurting yourself like that. Amazingly he worked very hard and with much pain for several hours a day he practiced.. and he plays now like he did before... or perhaps better.. because he no longer takes it for granted.

Since that evening that I met his wife.. other people have told me they have been having problems for years and they are not surprised. Now.. I'm thinking that since his accident.. he's looking at his life in a new way.. It's half over.. he's maybe 45?.. and he almost lost it.. so now he has been given a second chance in a way. Supposedly the year after his accident he worked really hard trying to get their marriage to work.. tried to figure out what his priorities were. It 's not like he didn't try and threw it all away. I think he's just scared of living the rest of his life unhappily. He may have grown and she just hasn't grown with him.

I've met a few scoundrels in my lifetime and he just isn't one of them.

Of course, now knowing what I know..I look at him during rehearsals and analyze what I see before my face... especially the way he looks at her. He practically beams when he sees her face. She's doesn't look like a movie star either... but she seems very sweet.. very artsy..and friendly. She is also a lawyer.. so has a functioning brain.. she is certainly not a bimbo. I have no idea if it will work out for them... but this seems to be something they need to live right now and I'm not going to condemn them.

Obladi Oblada .. life goes on!

Cabaret Richelieu

Last night, we went to the Cabaret Richelieu. It is a fun concert made up of sketches done by people here in town to raise money that is then distributed to different causes and projects. It is amazing how much they can cram into 2 hours.

Sorry about the quality, but being about 200 feet from the stage, and the camera hand-held at slow shutter speeds, I'm lucky to have gotten the shots that I did. It's a moment's like this that I sort of envy the owners of 10D's and 20D's .

Here was our M.C. for the evening... he also appeared as Spiderman at one point.


The two blondes.. beauties, aren't they?


This is from a sketch about "boucherons" normally guys, but here the women
proved they could sing just as badly as their male counterparts! lol



This is from a sketch with a psychiatrist and his patient. As you can see
the patient is somewhat stuck in the 80's.


Les Mama Mias:



One man orchestra: This guy played very well.. he made a double drum.. one consisting of a bear bottle with money it in.. tied to his leg.. and that contraption on his head with drumsticks sticking out that he clang about at the appropriate moment.



Here comes the judge:


The belly dancer:


and her students:


At the bar, everything is discussed from local politics to sports:


and everyone has their opinion.. especially the drunk:


This guy just got equiped at the local "Sports Expert Store" to be ready for this year's season of golf:


Here he explains how the skirt help him cheat.. because he can hide the ball between his legs.. walk stiffly and let it drop at the appropriate spot:


and he helps out a volunteer (well, he asked for a volunteer, but this guy (although unaware) was already picked out ahead of time and 2 guys were waiting to escort him to the stage. He tells him that he is going to teach him to be a better golfer and then exlains to him that he should make sure to keep both hands on the golf club, to not talk because he needs to concentrate.. he helps him out with a bit of tape! :-D


Xmas holidays at a resort in Florida:


Puppet man:


Surely everyone remembers that .avi that circulated on the net with a couple guys
playing pingpong.. but really it's someone behind the table dressed in black with
a ping pong at the end of a fishingline, here they guys sort of recreated it:


Lessons on how to take care of unruly children, start by teaching them while they are very young:


Before they become this:


and to end up a bit about Amerindian's singing gospel music.. this was pretty atrocious!:

My Sunday night walk

Last night I again went out for a walk.. it was past 10 but the weather was mild. When I got to the top of our street...I started walking down the boulevard.. and noticed how pretty the leafless tress were against the dark sky.. and went back home and picked up my tripod and camera and decided to take some shots.

I started to take a few..and I was too close up.. and decided to back up into James's driveway to be able to capture more of the tree. I saw movement in their bedroom window and someone at the window.. who I figured was either James or Joanne. (you may remember that James is our musical director). So I waved and turned and took a few shots. ... well, a moment later the door opened and out came Joanne, in her nightgown. I said, oh! I knew it would either be you or James at the window.. was too dark to see, I'm just trying to get a complete shot of the trees on the boulevard and from the sidewalk, I'm just a little too close. She says, oh.. James isn't here anymore.. so I think she's kidding, right? I say..you're joking.. and she says, no.. James has left with a woman from the troupe... 3 days ago. Josée something, a lawyer that joined our troupe this year. I'm flabbergasted.. she starts to cry and I hug her in the dark stillness and I'm not sure how to make her feel good. I don't really know Joanne very much. She doesn't really follow closely anything the troupe does, but the few times I have met her, she has always been very friendly and warm. She stayed out a few moments while I comforted her and then she went back into her home and closed the lights.

Well.. at first I was shocked, it was hard to believe. The photo session was obviously over. I couldn't just get back to doing it as if nothing had happened. I unclipped and put everything away and walked back home.

The first thing that comes to your mind is to condemn, right?... but I find it hard to do so. I know James now for about 6-7 years. He is not the playboy type, doesn't flirt, is kind of homely looking if you want the truth and aside from music is actually quite awkward and shy and not at all comfortable in social situations where he isn't doing music. I don't see him as running around on Joanne.. rather, I'm wondering if this isn't just something that just happened, I guess. Also, if Josée was this "hawt" young babe, I would say that oh.. his brain was in his pants... but she's actually very ordinary especially compared to his own wife who is very pretty.

So, yes, he's been married a long time but I don't know what it's like at his house, is he nagged every day, is he treated like a man, what is he missing that he went looking elsewhere? Now, I'm not saying he is not to fault here too.. but maybe we don't know the whole story.

I spoke to Claudette on the phone this morning, she must know James and Joanne for at least 15 years. She told me that they have been seperated before a few times. They used to live in Amos.. so I really did't get to see them as much. A few years ago they moved here. I guess it was most surprising because they just seemed so normal. Anyways... it's always sad to see something like that happen.

I didn't get any great photos last night.. this was the best of the few I got.

need to be alone

I notice more and more how I really do need time to be just alone.. just me and my thoughts... or no thoughts at all.. just being alone to breathe.. no phone, no tv... nobody.

Last night, after a late supper, I went out for a walk.. not to get exercise, not to see the sights or talk to anyone.. but just to be all alone. It must have been 9:30 or maybe even later.. I just had to get out ... no reason... something that is probably not well explained with words.. just felt ansy, and stifled... so I threw on a jacket, ipod in my pocket and left.

It would probably have been a great time to take my camera and a tripod and get some night shots...but I didn't want that.. it was a walk without real purpose. I just wanted to be on my own... without any direction to where I was going.. just meandering about listening to music. I didn't do any special soul searching, just felt free. No catering to anyone, no expectations, no responsabilities, just away.

You may find it mildly amusing that I can be so needy at times .. wanting someone's shoulder to lean on and then at the same time want to be alone by myself.

mundane stuff

I don't know why but Tueday night I went to bed but didn't sleep.. my eyes were closed, my body was laying horizontally.. but I was awake... I kept opening my eyes, and checking what time it was. Yesterday morning when I got up I felt like I should be going to bed.. I felt pooped.

I had rehearsals last night like every Wednesday.. as usual.. you get a burst of energy.. and while I was there I felt really fabulous, when I got home I was still up on the adrenaline. When I finally did hit the pillow though.. I was a goner. Slept very very deeply... and today feel great! :)

Last night at rehearsals we had 2 new-comers.. Hugo, whom I already know and a new girl called Patricia. She seems to learn extremely fast and was completely at ease with everyone right off the bat. Ah.. I remember when I first started.. how shy I was... I had joined and had never done anything like it before and was very intimidated by it all.. I didn't know how to read music so it was all up to my little ears to figure it all out.. So very different from this girl... I think she has certainly done this before.. anyways.. she fit right in, as if she had always been a part of the troupe.

As for Hugo, well, he sang with us before but when his boyfriend, Yvon decided he wouldn't be singing with us anymore.. then Hugo wasn't allowed to sing with us either. I always felt bad for Hugo.. he's the sweetest kid and he would do everything for Yvon. Yvon would always put him down... even in front of other people, so I can't imagine how bad it could have gotten at home. I sang for awhile with a small ensemble that did pop songs that Yvon had organized but I left because I thought Yvon was mean and spiteful and I didn't like being around someone like that. Anyways.. a few weeks ago.. they broke up.. Hugo leaving Yvon. So Hugo has decided to come back and sing with us!

Ok.. enough gossiping! lol

just has not been my week.

with all the things happening with my dad.. my week was already off to a lousy start.. and seems everthing I do and touch is just not working out.

I had a h2h doing a panorama.. well..of course I lost.. How can I compete with fabulous castles.. and stone bridges on rivers all in the same image.

Many people thought because I did only 4 or so feet that it must have not been difficult.. and actually easy.. of course they don't know that I redid the shoot 4 times.. and the fact that everything is so close.. moving just a tad put everything in a completely different perspective.

I also entered a few poems in the beginner spring contest.. they are freefalling as we speak.. I don't know why I persist trying to write .. I'm just not good at it.. that may be the reason why.. I don't like not being good at things. Sadly, I write like a 4 year old... argh..

To top things off... I really needed something to lift my spirits. When I saw there was an invisible contest that came along.. I was very happy. Last year I did some invisibles.. and didn't really read the rules.. and got dq'd because they were movie actresses and not musicians.

Then the contest appeared.. yay! this will be great.. I'll take the better of the two.. tweak it.. and make it even better and submit it.. then enjoy the thrill and angst of watching the leaderboard... It was also a great idea because with the mentoring program that we started in the photography section, I was especially busy for the last few days.. matching up mentors and mentees. I didn't have a lot of time to do a brand new invisible.. but since nobody had seen this one... I could enter it.

Well.. it was not to be .. before entering.. a recheck of the rules.. proves fatal to my image.. it has to be a movie scene... oh.. so I have to forget about that too.

I was so disappointed.. another of these might not come up for a year.. and then it may just be actresses from the 40's or 50's.. who knows.

seems all I've done here is whine this week.. but things have just not been going my way.

ah.. Wednesday

Wednesday, may very well be my favorite day of the week. Today especially... with all the stuff with my dad going on, it feels so good to go somewhere and be so occupied and concentrated on doing something that you are completely in another space and don't have a minute to think or worry about other things.

Since last week, we are no longer doing ateliers and James is so amazing, pushing us to be better and better. There are so many very fast and energetic pieces, you practically get a workout.

Tonight some reporter came by and taped us and filmed a bit of us practicing. Normally you would think that would be extremely distracting but we were all so concentrated on James and into his movements for harsh.. soft.. majestic.. mysterious.. whatever he wanted that we totally forgot she was there. No wonder I can leave my troubles at the door when I arrive there. I always leave with a natural "high".

frustrated

Oh, I hoped to not have to whine anymore, but I`m very frustrated with my dad. He finally got out of the hospital on Monday. Before leaving he had an X-ray to take and a chest exam.
Yesterday, he was already complaining about the new pills they were giving him, because they changed the prescription and now he had to pay for new ones and the other ones were wasted, if you want. I understand his point of view.. but the fact that he has new pills for his lungs.. may be causing an interaction with his other pills, but it`s like talking a to a brick wall..

This morning he had to see the lung specialist about his tests.. he was being a jerk and pretty much told the doctor off, said that they aren`t doing any for him and he didn`t need his help.

Now a worker from the CLSC called me so I can tell him that a nurse will be coming to see him once a week to take a blood sample, listen to his chest and take his blood pressure... only for a few weeks to make sure he is ok.. and so he doesn`t have to go to the hospital.
Well.. he was very upset, doesn`t want anyone to come.. complained and said he wasn`t going to open the door and then yells at me as if it were my fault.

I swear, he`s going to drive me nuts. I would not take this sort of guff from anyone but my dad.. and he knows that I think. Telling this man to chill out, as ELB has suggested to me, just won`t work.. it will just make him angrier..

Anyways... just needed to get that off my chest. He always says to me `you`re just like your mother` ... he doesn`t say it as a compliment..he means, I`m too sensitive.. not hard enough.. but for me, it is a compliment.. because I don`t ever want to be like he is.

a crink

Yesterday I woke up with a crink in my neck. I must have slept in an odd position. I couldn't really turn my neck much to the left or lift my arm.. it was quite painful. I spent the whole day walking around like some kind of robot. It is very difficult to look relaxed and confident when you are walking around like a stiff board, the crink in my neck also put quite a crink in my style ;-)

Remember the incident with the elevator I talked about the other day. Yesterday when I went to visit my dad, there was huge yellow tape with DANGER written all over it crisscrossed all over the elevator door.

My dad is getting ansy at the hospital. He's getting better but bored and not too happy about it. When I got there last night he was in one of his moods. As nice as I tried to be, he would not have any of it. If I asked him something, he answered with stuff like "WTF do I know" in a mean and sarcastic tone. If I tried to comfort him.. it was "What? .. do I look like I'm dying? " I sat there, grinned and took it. ugh! Sometimes I wonder if he even cares that he is so hurtful to me. I actually think it gives him some sort of joy to know he has that power over me. I go and visit him, hoping it will make him feel better to have some company and I come home depressed and hurt.
--
Well, while I was writing this blog entry, my dad called and he is getting out tomorrow. Hopefully, this will put him in a better mood. Being the only child that lives close-by, the responsability pretty much falls into my hands. Sometimes I feel so alone.. not knowing quite where to turn to be able to breathe. I have friends, but not anyone I really confide in or turn to when in pain. There was one person that I believed cared, that I thought I could be very open and truthful with but now I realize doesn't really. Turns out words like: I'll be there for you, you can come to me anytime and talk, are just that: words. I guess somewhere inside of me, in my heart, I'm hoping he'll read these words and say.. no, no, no.. I'm here.. come, let me comfort you.. but my head comes back with reality.. and says: nah.. he doesn't even read this anymore.

last two weeks

Well, I haven't blogged a lot in the last two weeks, just busier than normal I guess.. and probably a little lazy too.

Since my last entry my dad has gone into the hospital. He had a bad cold and the doctor gave him antibiotics but the infection still continued into his lungs and now he has pneumonia. This is the second time he gets pneumonia but this time doesn't seem to be as bad as last time. I think he may actually get out of the hospital today .. or very soon. Yesterday they took off his I.V. so that's a good sign. Also he is getting feisty and snarky again..which although I hate, means he's feeling much better.

Last night when I went to see him I had a weird thing happen with the elevator. It almost felt like a April Fool's joke done one day ahead.

I arrive at the hospital, take the elevator to the left. press Floor #3.

I get out of the elevator, walk straight forward, pass a nurse's station and then to the left.. As I'm walking down the corridor, I have a sense that something is not quite the same.. I look at the room numbers .. and geez-Louise, they say 412- 411- 410 .. I'm on the wrong floor!

Get back in the elevator. Press Floor #3. Watch it descend.. slow down close to floor #3..but keep on going all the way down to Floor #1.

Nutso..right? So I get out.. feeling pretty stupid... then get on the second elevator which brings me up to the 3rd floor finally.

While I'm visiting, my dad would like something cold to drink.. so I offer to go to the cafeteria and get him a gingerale. I take the same elevator as the first time.. press 2.. no problem.. it brings me down to 2.

When it's time to go back up.. I get back in this same elevator and yes, again.. press #3. The door closes I watch the numbers rise and whoa.. I'm on four.. press again.. I'm now on 5. I get out with the intention of getting on the other elevator.. but feel foolish as there are nurses watching me .. so I get back on the same elevator and try my luck again.. I just know it's not going to work.... but I press 3.. it brings me down to 2. Now I have just about had my trip (mon voyage!! ) Now I don't care how dumb it looks, I 'm not getting back on that elevator.. I 'll wait for the next one. I finally get on the second one and back to the 3rd floor but I must admit I was almost waiting to hear someone scream out: Smile!! you're on candid camera.

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Wednesday I was pretty pooped.. the night before there was a database glitch at Worth and jax, jago and I spent a few hours manually putting things back where they belonged.. Heck.. even hbomb came by and gave a helping hand. It was hectic but exciting at the same time to try and get things fixed quickly. The jurors that were online were a huge help. They responded to tons of live helps.. of people in angst .. where is my entry? .. I can't see it in my stats!.. my text entry is in photography.. what's going on?

Next day, I had a photoshoot to do, deal with the tax people for a problem (yes.. again the dumb taxes) go see my dad at the hospital and then rehearsals at night.

Rehearsals were fun as always. We have finally gotten past the atelier stage and work the whole practice together. There is one song we did together that James said something about being fast.. so.. after we did it once .. we thought it was fast but heck..not so bad.. we could pull that off easily... then he's says.. consider that as first gear.. well.. he brought us up to 4th gear... It was crazy and fun. We are having a blast.

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I didn't like the results of my photoshoot and decided to do it over. It's a panoramic shot indoors.. so you probably see theproblem that I'm going to have to keep the light consistant. I set up a huge bench .. 8' feet long.. covered it and set up a mobile horizontal blind thing that I made last summer. It isn't wide enough .. so I had to take a picture.. move the bench a few inches.. take another picture.. move the bench again. I took several pictures.. and would have to stitch and blend them in photoshop.

I didn't like the effect at all.. I changed my props.. did it again.. this time the props were better but the stitching of the blinds was horrendous..it just wouldn't work. I then took off the blinds. put up vellum paper..and set up lights behind.. which gave a wonderful glow.. and redid the shoot. 4 Photoshoots for 1 photograph.. yep.. I guess I am crazy! lol