Crummy day

I guess you could say my crummy day sort of started last night. Yesterday, I was talking to Heather about the Haiku contest and saying how I was entering because it would be fun and easy not having to shovel out 500 words. We talked a bit and I told her I was intimidated about writing and she was very sweet and supportive and said.. no..no.. write.. just write.. doesn't matter if it's crap.. just do it.. just let yourself enjoy it.

Last night, I decided to jump in with both feet. I sauntered over to the text contests and found the current one is : Opening Paragraphs. Overdone Openings. Just my luck, it's a contest for no-talent hacks. I could literally write something out and not have to edit it. LOL!

Anyways, I took her advice. I sat down in the livingroom ... pushed my back deeply into the corner of the sofa and with a writing pad on my knees and Bic in hand I was all set to "enjoy the experience".

I started off writing some ridiculous story of someone being awakened by a noise in the middle of the night and something I had written about having one beautiful eye open and an equally beautiful one closed (ok, I wouldn't actually write that way, but I wanted it to be really cheesy for the contest) made me change my mind and I then decided to change it to someone looking in the mirror and looking at herself.

I started writing about her.. and then all of a sudden it was no longer her I was talking about; it was me. I didn't really see it coming... it sort of just happened.

I am always amazed at how Heather seems to be able to spew out words as if she is breathing them... and here I was flowing ... but it had turned into "cry me a river" flowing. I had written myself quite a "pity party". Feelings and emotions just came spilling out.. easier when you don't have to share them with anyone. I wrote 4 full pages, my emotions vascillating between feeling very self-indulgent and pitying myself to feeling angry at myself and feeling guilty for not appreciating all the good things I have. Ask someone who hasn't eaten in 2 days if they really care if they lack affection, I assure you that is the last thing on their mind. At that point, I just wanted someone's shoulder to cry on... someone to give me a huge hug and a pep talk and make it all feel right again.

There is a German word, schadefreude, which means to be happy/sad at the same time. I have always liked that word and wished there was an English equivalent. Last night I wished they also had a word for self pity/feeling guilty about it at the same time that I could use to explain how I felt.

This morning I woke up kind of cranky I guess... still trying to shake off the negative feelings from the night before.

Knowing I was going to have to deal with the tax guy again didn't improve my mood very much either. I re-emailed "Dean" but didn't get an answer so later on I went into their Live Help again and was told that my best new friend only started work at noon. I finally did get in touch with Dean (in chat at 3:39) who didn't remember who I was, what my problem was, and why was I bothering him again?

He says: " I got your email today only (while he knew perfectly well I sent it while still online with him), and it didn't specify what the problem was so I put it aside." .. Pardon me? You told me to send it and you would reply in 10 minutes.. and you just never responded at all. "Well, could you tell me what the problem is again because I don't remember."

I go through the whole thing all over again, until a light flickers on in his brain and he says.. "ah! yes.. now I remember!". Of course, he is still as clueless as he was yesterday, except this time he has my tax returns in his hands. After an hour we find that the software didn't transfer one amount.. not in the forms but in the worksheet.. grr. I thank him for his assistance, he closes the chat without even saying "You are welcome" or "Good Bye!. Oh, anyways.. the taxes are finished, filed, finito, finally!

On the weekend I installed Grablt on my computer. I couldn't get it to work for me. At first I thought I had not entered my server's new address properly or my password.. but I checked everything with my service today and I'm not doing anything wrong. Just to be, sure I even subscribed, as a test only, to some news feeds to see if I actually could receive anything here. Well, they work just fine.. but, of course, I don't want to hunt down songs through hundreds of newsgroups.. that's Grablt's job.

I visited the Grablt webpage and waded through several forum threads of people having exactly the same problem as I am having. There didn't seem to be a corrective procedure to do. The only suggestion was that it could possibly be an Earthlink problem or installing an older version of Grablt might solve the problem. Ok, I 'll take an older version.. who cares! Well.. the two sites that were offering it were both temporarily down. When they did finally get back online, I was able to download it .. but after installing it, it still wouldn't work. :-(

I swear I'm almost finished my whining... but one more thing happened.

A couple weeks ago on Artalyst, I won "Picture of the Month". People that frequent the site nominate their favorites and then everyone can vote and the winner gets a spot on the front page as well as a print by an artist that is also one of our members.

I was very excited about getting the print. I never win things.. and this was just the coolest thing to win. Today the print arrived at my door. I was very anxious to see it but the delivery man says: "that's $40.00" .. Pardon me? He repeats: "$40.00" and some amount of change that I don't really remember. I'm flabbergasted. I'm going to have to pay for this? That's quite a prize! He says, "well.. he didn't send it as a gift, he sent it with a value and you have to pay duty and taxes.. $40.00 please." Well, thank you very much but no thank you. Geez.

So.. sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get it out of my system. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

taxes

I started doing my taxes by myself when I got my first job and then added Sylvain's to mine when we got married. It has never been something I have particularly liked, just something that had to be done. I've never complained about it but must admit as the years have passed I have come to dread it more and more each year.

Anyways, this week I did ours. I gathered up everything.. then started.. then procrastinated and stopped and then started again to finally finish them today. Well, almost finished them today.. unfortunately, I'm still going to have to deal with them tomorrow.

When completely finished, I went to file them via internet. Since the last 3 years I have been using software to do the taxes, not that it is any easier but you can't upload via the internet otherwise. The software does a review of the taxes. I have done a joint return and the software says no errors. Great!!

When you actualy file, you must file individually.. so I upload Sylain's Federal and Provincial returns (yes, I have to file one for each .. argh!! ) and everything is fine.I get the receipt from both governments.

The software then says that my return has an error..it says I have an amount that I have overridden and I must cancel the override or I'm not able to send file via the internet. Of course, I haven't overridden any number on my return but as a fool I check it anyways... of course, I'm human and must be wrong and the software must be right. Nope .. nothing.. I ask it to cancel the overrides but it just keeps giving me the same error. So I try to get it to ignore the overrides and then it says .. if you do that you will not longer be able to file your return by internet. The only reason I'm using this stupid software in the first place is to do exactly that.

I visit the company's support page online... hey!! they have "Live Help". I get a rep right away and he was courteous but as lost as I was. He keeps telling me to recheck everything over and over because I must have made an error. He has no idea how to fix it.

I end up having to send my tax return to the company for him to review and re-email me in 10 minutes. 10 minutes, 20, 30.. yep, you guessed it.. an hour later and still no email. Now I return to "live help" to find that "Dean" my representative has gone home and was not thoughtful enough to email me and say.. "hey, there!! Don't wait around .. I'm not here anymore."

Tomorrow I have to try and contact them again.. if my new friend, Dean, doesn't work only on the weekends, I may finally get these done quickly. If not, I am going to have to go through the whole rigamaroll of explaining everything all over to someone else.

They say that the only things that never change in life are death and taxes. Hmmm.. when you finally do go.. I wonder if they screw up and say.. "Sorry.. the gates are closed right now.. Pete's gone home for the night .. Could you come back tomorrow?"

a lot not alot

Ever do write something one way your whole life and never realize it's incorrect?

The other day I took a "Live Help" and I was answering the guy and I guess I kept saying things like alot of the time etc., because all of a sudden he says: "Is alot a Canadian thing? " ... what? ... I'm perplexed. What do you mean?

He's says: "Everytime you say the word "alot" I circle it in red on my monitor". As constipated as this seems to me, I quickly open a new browser to dictionary.com .. and find out it's not a word. Geez, I have written it like this all my life.

Guess it's time to go back to grade school. :-P

pirates and merry men

Just like every Wednesday night, last night I had rehearsals and as always it was fun.

Last night we worked on 2 specific parts.

First we worked on act one... Think Robin Hood with his band of merry men frolicking and making folksy music. Lots of fun!

Then we worked on act three. The section with pirates.. HA! wonderfully boisterous, loud, noisy, raucous, rough, rowdy. At first the women try to lure the men with food.. but they reply that as much as they like food, they would prefer beer. We finally get them to pay attention to us using our womanly wiles and pretty much offer ourselves up for dessert.

Les Pommes d'Adam! On aime les bons desserts
Les Pommes d'Adam! Mais on préfère la bière.

Gentils pirates et mousses
Cessez cette vilaine chanson
Il faudrait que vous tous
Et nous s'embrassions
À l'amour, à l'amour, à l'amour

Les Pommes d'Adam. Les Pomme d'Adam s'emballent,
Les Pommes d'Adam. Pour commetre l'adultère!




We are supposed to be on a pirate ship. Of course we won't have a ship like that on stage but we will have portable port holes that we will open and close to offer a bit of hanky panky .. come and get us!!

Our friend, Bob the terrible.. a mean ol' pirate. (trust me, he sounds much more like a swashbuckler in French .. pronounce it as Bubb.. le terrible!) is going to have to walk the plank to be thrown to the sharks. In the pit, the orchestra will all be wearing shark fins on their heads. If you haven't guessed by now.. this is a comedy. LOL.

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One of our members from a few years ago (Jean-François) is gong to be singing with us. The last time I saw him was about 6 years ago. He was just a kid.. only 20. Now all grown up.. he's married and has a little boy that he brought to practice last night. The child was adorable. Once in a while when James would say something like.. yes.. that's what I want.. the kid would say.. Bravo! Bravo! It really was the cutest thing.. and yes, I guess you had to be there! :-P

new theatre

Yay! Finally, our theatre is finished and ready. It's been closed for a year now so they could rip everything out .. redesign the stage .. change the seating and most importantly the acoustics. It reopens this weekend with a concert by Boom Desjardins, lead singer from "la Chicane" doing a solo concert. I guess it's sort of appropriate since he's from our town.

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Surgery.. ok, nothing major, nor minor..okay... let's say micro-minor surgery. Okay, okay.. I'm joking. Today I had a splinter in my finger that I just couldn't get out no matter how much I prodded and probed with a tweezer. It was very tiny and too deep under the skin. Tiny as it was it bothered me alot. So.. I did a little self-surgery if you will.

I took a little scalpel with a fresh blade and burned the blade to sterilize and then disinfected with alcohol. Geez... that sounds pretty crude, doesn't it?


Well anyways.. I cut the tiniest sliver. Yes.. I could feel the eebie-jeebies in my knees and in the pit of my belly, but thought it too ridiculous to go to the hospital to get it taken care ; it's such a tiny thing ... and besides I hate going to the hospital. At least doing it by myself I felt I had control over the situation.

Anyways, the splinter is out, the patient is fine. :-) Looking back on it now I don't know if i was being brave or just crazy.

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Oh.. and I want to send "Get Well" wishes to Heather, CCZ and to tiny Emma, who are all under the weather today and feeling pretty crummy! I hope you all feel better very soon.

Butterfly effect :D

A couple of week's ago Sylvain was working late and called and said, "I'm not sure when I'll finish.. Don't make supper .. I 'll bring home a pizza".

When he finally gets here.. he's a little upset. He wanted a large pizza because they had a promotion on them (something like 99 cents more than a medium) and that would leave plenty for cold pizza the next morning... and a snack later.

He's says: "They made me a medium. But I didn't want to wait around for another 25 minutes.. so I took it."

He opens the pizza box and it's pepperoni and cheese. Of course, this is good, but he wanted all-dressed.

Now, we've both eaten a couple of slices and there is just a little left over when the phone rings.

It's the pizza place. "Hey! ... aren't you going to come and pick up your pizza that you ordered? .. we want to close shop and are waiting on you!"

"Come and pick up my pizza? I already came and got it; it was the wrong size and the not even the way I asked for it."

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Fast Forward to yesterday.

He tells me .. "Guess what?.. Remember that pizza I went to pick up and the order was wrong?"

"yeah, sure.. what about it? "

"Well, what I didn't mention to you when it happened was that I asked my client to dial for me ... and he handed me the phone." I ordered one large, all dressed pizza.. that I would pick up on my way"

then he says:

My client stopped by to see me today and told me the Pizza Place called him and asked why we hadn't picked up the pizza. He told the guy, "heck if I know.. I just dialed the number."

Turns out .. instead of dialing ***-4111 he dialed ***-1111 which turned out to be a completely different pizza place.

so because of this one number.

We didn't get the kind or size of pizza we ordered.

Obviously some poor guy went to pick up his 'medium pepperoni and cheese pizza' and it wasn't there so they had to make up another one ... and he had to wait another 25 minutes for it.

The other pizza place stayed open late waiting for the customer that never came!

and

Sylvain's client got a snarky phone call from the pizza place.

Isn't it funny to see how one little finger on the wrong button.. changed so many things in one evening for so many people.

the winter festival

The winter festival in our town only lasts a weekend, but it is alot of fun. There is a little bit for everyone if you can stand the cold.

Friday evening opened with a short but really great display of fireworks. After the fireworks, they showed a movie, outdoors projected on a huge wall of snow. people sat on bales of hay to watch Jimmy Neutron. Later they had a small music concert out of doors also.

Yesterday and today were activity based.

There were plenty of fun things for everyone... including snowmobile rides, sliding, you could even take a ride in a horse drawn wagon.



There was plenty of free maple syrup taffy.. and it was delicious as you can see
(in case anyone is wondering, yes.. I did get permission to take this cutie's pic):



There was a snowman building competition where you had to build a 'traditional snowman'.

One guy simply said: Screw the traditional one.. I'm making this. Of course he didn't win but it was a favorite amongst the kids.




and the fabulous snow sculptures (ah... art, that's free, that is ephemeral, that didn't cost 26 million dollars (oooh..perhaps someone should tell Christo!) and that everyone can come to see and enjoy together.

fireworks

Tonight I went to the opening of our town's winter festival to try and get a few pictures of the fireworks. Of course it's winter and we are going to freeze our butt off, but who cares! The display is not huge but since you are very close it doesn't matter .. it is so awesome.. probably better than the hugest displays that you have to watch from across a river or miles away.

Here is my preferred pic of the evening. This is not zoomed in.. what you see is what was really in front of my eyes.. that's how close we were. I love the silhouette of the people in the foreground.



Tomorrow if the weather isn't too crazy cold, I'm going to try and get shots of the guys that will be carving snow sculptures.

just a little note

... to say sometimes things happen that make you feel pretty darn good about yourself. :-)

First Time

There is a Atom A hockey tournament in town this weekend. There are more than 50 teams participating. Most of the kids are about 10 years old.

I went this evening and brought along my camera. This is the first time I have ever taken any type of sports photographs. Although not great, I did manage to get a few shots that I really like. I found it difficult to get good focus because the kids are moving around so quickly from one end of the rink to the other.

Here are my favorites of the evening:

I have several shots of goals..but most of the time you couldn't really see the puck because of all the players in front of the goalie. Here is one where we can plainly see the puck.


This is a save that I really like because we see the puck and the great movement in his body.


Another save... this time by a member of our town's team.


And here is the St-Hubert Restaurant mascot that was more than willing to pose for me several times in the evening. I have many shots of him.. kissing fans.. playing with kids.. this one is a pose just for me.. while the Zamboni is cleaning the ice.

Coming home from practice

The place where I go to practice is not very far from where I live; probably about a 10 minute walk. Tonight on my way home while walking down one of the streets, all of the streetlights on that street went out. It got very dark all at once and felt very freaky. I guess I felt a little secure in the fact that I was in a small town, not that nothing ever happens here, just less of it, I suppose.

It got me thinking of when I lived in Montreal and how often I had moments where I was scared because I was either being followed by some jerk that thought being a smartass would get him somewhere or being constantly stared at while doing my wash at the laundramat. I don't know where some men got the impression that walking 10 paces behind you while you are scared out of your wits or following beside you in a car would make him attractive to any female, let alone me.

I've had a few incidents that were especially scary to me. One was when I worked for a jewellery company that was on the 6h floor. Since the company actually manufactured the jewellery (there was always alot of gold, diamonds, precious stones and of course cash) you had to enter one door, then be buzzed in through the second.. and again buzzed in through the third.

I remember it was winter and I was going down the long corridor toward our entrance and I could see a guy walking in a weird manner in front of me. He was wearing dark clothing, a dark tuque and he was swaying side to side as he advanced down the corridor. At first I thought perhaps he was handicapped because he wasn't walking at a normal pace.. until he turned to face me. He had his manhood in his hand (it was limp, by the way) and shaking it back and forth.

I had always heard this type of pervert was basically really harmless and that they enjoyed exposing themselves but that they never actually did anything. Well, this one did.. he lunged at me and grabbed my breasts.. Of course, I screamed and pushed him off of me. He ran. I ran to our entrance .. got in between the first 2 doors but had to be buzzed in through the next 2 before being able to tell someone what happened. Well, by the time they started to look for the guy, he was long gone.

Another was on the eve of moving to a new apartment. I lived in a semi-basement apartment and my phone was disconnected and my landlords were gone to Italy for their vacation. I lived in a furnished apartment and everything was boxed up and ready for when my brother would come in the morning with a friend to move me.

Around 2 in the morning ... someone starts knocking and yelling at my door. "Let me in"... he was obviously drunk... and at the wrong building. I lived in a section that had several duplexes and triplexes and they were basically identical. This guy thought his girlfriend lived here.. and was pounding on my door demanding I let him in. I didn't know what to do.. I kept yelling... "you are at the wrong place!".. but he wasn't listening.. and I was not going to open my door for anything.

Remember now, that my phone is no longer in service and this guy can make as much ruckus as he wants because my landlords are away. I start shoving boxes of heavy books toward the door.. piling stuff up to make sure he can't get in.... for a moment I think he is gone.. but then the pounding starts again.. at my the windows.. he's banging on them.. yelling.. "let me in!" I cried and I trembled and sat in a corner with my arms hugging my knees until he eventually left. You'd have thought that a neighbor would have called the police but no.. nobody wanted to get involved.

A friend of mine, Dan, goes out in the city at night and takes photographs in not so friendly places. He's taken shots at night at railway tracks as well as in the alley behind a seedy bar. He gets some pretty great shots. I would never do that.. not alone. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a guy and just go where you want, when you want to and not be intimidated by anyone.

Happy Valentine's Day

Last night's concert

Last Night's concert went well.. We got there early, waited a long time for our sound check because there were several different musicians that were playing there that night and they all had to get up a do a bit of their pieces for the sound and lights guy.

The evening went well.. James was in a pretty good mood and very relaxed. If this concert would have been a few years ago.. he would have been extremely nervous and very short tempered. 2 years ago, he fell off a ladder from the second story of his house and almost killed himself. Since then, his whole attitude has changed and he seems to be able to digest stress a little better.


Remember I told you about the girl with the magical voice.. this is her:

Roxane singing her duo with Vincent:



I told you it was pretty formal!! :-)

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Tonight I went out to take some pictures in the industrial park.



It was very cold and I couldn't stay for long because my hands were freezing. I took a few pics and came home and played around with them... now they are psychedelic! :-P



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Someone called me today to do a photo manipulation. She wants me to take her ex-boyfriend out of a picture. I told I would do it... but I have no idea what to charge ... what's the going rate to get rid of a memory?

getting ready

I was just looking over our schedule for this year. Besides normal weekly rehearsals , we start stage rehearsals in June, have an intensive 8 days in August, a couple of weekends in September, October plus a full week at the end of October before doing our actual shows in November. This is besides all the work when we start building and painting sets and making props.

Tonight's concert is just the tip of the iceberg... a way to entice our audience. We show up.. do a few songs and then announce the title of the production (Les Jardins d'Ève - The Gardens of Eve).


I'm just about to get ready for tonight. It is going to be pretty fancy. Little black dress, red accessory, hair up, curls... lots of brouhaha. It sort of makes me laugh because it is far from what I will look like when the show actually starts. I know that I will be playing a medieval peasant and will probably be running around in my bare feet (which I love, by the way) looking like I haven't washed in a week wearing something laced very tightly that will push my breasts up to my neck.

tonight's rehearsal

If it were not for the fact that we have a concert on Saturday, I probably wouldn't have gone to rehearsal tonight. Although I'm feeling better, I'm not quite ready to sing. The last practice before a concert is always the most crucial though, last minute changes, stress on nuances etc., so I decided to go anyway. I'm very glad I went even though I wasn't in tiptop shape.... I always feel energized after our practices and it probably was the best thing I could do.

Many people in the choir were just like me and had a touch of the bug. It's going around and seems like so many of us were on the verge of coughing up a lung. Usually, James is extremely strict about chewing gum while singing.. first of all you can't articulate and second.. well.. you just might choke. Tonight, he was very tolerant. Most of us were chewing "Alpine Gum". It's like gum mixed with cough syrup. It actually pretty awful. The texture is too soft and it tastes pretty medicinal but at least it keeps the throat from drying out.


There were several musicians accompanying us tonight. Two female soloists were there also. Éliane, who gives us vocal coaching and Roxanne. Éliane has a pretty voice and a strong voice but Roxanne has a voice that is just so incredibly beautiful that it is literally stunning. Last week I laughed about James singing a duo with Vincent... James sang Roxanne's part. Well.. tonight Roxanne was there to sing her part and I swear .. shivers up my thighs.. up my arms.. up my neck. This girl has first-class pipes. She has that special ingredient that can't be taught.. it comes from inside. A wonderful timbre and so much soul. I guess you could tell by my face how it affected me because after she told me, "It is so fun watching your face while I sing".. Now I hope it was fun because she could tell how much I enjoyed it and not fun.. "haha" you look like an idiot! with that dumb look on your face! :-D

We are only singing 6 songs in this concert. A few from our upcoming production and a few favorites of the crowd... including for Valentine's day: "Depuis le premier jour" a song by Isabelle Boulay.

The evening will be split into 3 sessions. We sing one song in the 1st session.. then nothing in the second and 5 in a row in the third. It is going to be a very long day. We need to be there at 4:00 to have a run-through at 4:30.. sound checks etc., Concert only starts at 7:30. We won't be out of there before 10:30 or 11:00. It will be fun though! :)

It got a hold of me

Well, as much as I tried to avoid it, the cold I was trying to avoid got it's grippe(sic) on me. I felt too awful to go get (as Cyn suggested) Zinc tablets but took another friend's suggestion of a hot bowl of chicken soup.. and went to bed.

I spent the weekend under covers and when awake watching the tube. I do remember watching 'School of Rock' but not much else.

This morning I woke up groggy, achy and feeling very ucky and dirty. I felt like someone who had been binge drinking in a bar.. got into a brawl, got spit at and thrown into the gutter and left there for the night. I looked that way too. After a long hot shower I'm feeling a little more human, don't look very hot but at least I smell good.

the bug!

Sylvain has had a bad cold for a week now. I have been trying desperately not to catch it... I DO NOT want to be sick.

Today, I started to feel scratching in my throat and shivery and goosebumpy! I'm not a happy camper :-(

If anyone has any magic they can send to prevent this from happening.. I beg of you.. send it now!

tonight's rehearsals

Tonights rehearsals went well. We stayed a half hour later than usual, but it is true what they say: when you are having fun, time flies. It is really starting to look like something. We have a long way to go but we can already see the parts starting to fit together. It is quite exciting.

Tonight, we had a few musicians in to work with us instead of just the piano. It was pretty wild for awhile because we were so pumped up listening to the music that the first time around we heard it, everyone was entering in the wrong places.

Progressively we will have more and more music to work around instead of the "ucky" midi files that were given to us if we want to practice at home. They are really horrible... someone has to learn about sound fonts and how good even computer music can sound.

There is nothing, though, that can compare to live music. There is a part where Suzanne plays a synthesizer to mimic computer-games style music and Sylviu is playing the alto violin at the same time. Everyone was just mesmerized, it was so beautiful.

Éliane was there to do her solo.. and there was a duo to be done by Luc and Roxanne. Well, neither Luc nor Roxanne could be there so Vincent sang Luc's part and James, our musical director sang her part. The song is supposed to be romantic but was so funny. Vincent has long hair but wears it up in a ponytail very high on his head like a samurai, he has several piercings and has a beard and James has shorter hair but also has a beard and was singing falsetto .. which sounded pretty horrible let me tell you. Ah!... It was great fun! :)

Happy Groundhog Day!

at the park.

Where was I tonight around 10 p.m.? Taking a walk in the park and taking pictures. It the first time in weeks that the cold has broken enough to bring the camera out. -40 is not the best thing for a digital camera.

Anyways.. here's are a few pictures. It's a lovely park and only about 5 minutes from where I live. I didn't have a tripod because I didn't want to schlep it in the snow and besides I have a feeling the feet would have sunk into the snow anyways... so the photos are not as sharp as they could be considering how dark it was.

Trembling

Hey, we had a small earthquake here this afternoon.. Nothing for anyone to be worried about (it was minor) but very rare around these parts.

I was on the computer finishing up work I had procrastinated doing the days before and heard what sounded like a snowplow scraping the road.. but directly on the ground. There was nothing outside. I could feel the trembling in the caboose (;-D) though and it lasted about 30 seconds.

A girlfriend of mine that lives about a mile away called me and said she felt the same thing.. that her dog was sleeping and it woke him up.. and he was frightened. Sylvain was about 4 miles out of town and they felt it there too.

Seems the epicenter was about 40 some miles away and it rated 3.3 on the richter scale. I know everyone in California is laughing right now the same way we laugh when you say your town was immoblized because of a few inches of snow.

my printer

Last summer I bought myself a new photoprinter that Kitten recommended and I must say it is a real jewel. It prints incredible photos at lightning speed, full color high resolution 8 x 10s in about a 1 minute and so quietly that when I first got it I would stand up and check if it was really printing.. yes that quiet.

I never appreciated the 6 individual ink tanks as much as today though. After printing over 70 sepia 8 x 10's ... I can just imagine the waste of ink in the regular 3 color combotanks, literally, money in the trash.

Canon i960, I love you!

weird

Boy, the forums at Worth has been incredibly quiet since yesterday... it's weird. Maybe there is some huge sporting event or something going on that I'm not aware of.

Anyways, I've made a batch of cookies, they are warm out of the oven, and waiting just for you! You can have milk, coffee, tea.. whatever you want.. just come on over, I could sure use the company.

Procrastinating

I've been procrastinating all day. I have these forms that the members of the troupe filled out to put together with the photographs I took and to turn it all into something easy to access and read for the director and the costume designer. I'm used to working in Publisher but if I want to turn this into a .pdf document, I will most likely have to do it in Word. I don't feel like it .. so I've been putting it aside since yesterday.. and roaming the Worth forums instead.

I have looked through them though.. and some people apparently used the wrong end of the measuring tape.. One woman has her head as being 39" in circumference... was the Elephant man's head that big?.. and one man put his hips as being 21 1/2".. unless he had a buttectomy, this has got to be wrong. One of the girls does indeed have a 33" butt... now that's tiny.

One thing for sure, woman have wider hips than men and men have bigger heads. I wonder what that says about the fact we are attracted to each other.

----------

Talking about members of the troupe, I have a bit of a dilemna. There is a girl that often likes to place herself beside me. She is a fabulous singer but there is one huge problem for me. She has body odor.

Now, I'm very much in favor of letting people live the way they want. I'm not perfect and don't expect others to be. Your house can be messy or very oraganized; do as you wish. Want hairy armpits and hairy legs, fine with me.. they are yours to do with as you please. The problem for me is that the odor is distracting and really turns me off.

I wish there was a way to tell her. The thing is she is a sweetheart and I don't have the heart to do it. She would be incredibly hurt, I'm sure.. as I would be if someone would tell me such a thing.

She's young, 23, I think, and fnishing school to be a teacher this year. She also lives with a guy. I can't imagine having intimate relations with someone who smells bad. They say bodily odors are an aphrodisiac ad can turn people on.. well they can.. but normal smells.. on a clean body.. not something that smells like the lockerroom after a basketball game.

I just can't see anyway of telling her that wouldn't be mean. Is there a kind way? Hmm.. I'm thinking I 'll just have to endure it.

tag, you're it!

After my shower this evening before going to practice, I put on a new bra that I bought last week. Before buying it, I tried it on and it fit fine but you know how it is.. there are labels and plastic wires attached for price tags etc., so it is normal that it sometimes picks a bit.

Tonight I put on the bra.. it looked fine but felt like something was jabbing me on the left. This wasn't a little prickle .. it was really annoying.

I take it off to find the manufacturer has sewn on a little pouch next to the label that is very hard and about 1 1/2 inches long by 1/2 inch wide. I cut it off and inside is a plastic stick that when you cut open you find a long piece of metal. I immediately understand what it is; a security tag against theft. This little object is a magnetized piece of metal that they demagnetize when you pass at the cash.

I'm imagining in my brain someone trying on this bra.. and deciding to steal it.. by wearing it. They are leaving the store and the alarms start ringing.. They start checking her bags.. nothing.. her pockets .. again, nothing. Ok.. how do they check this out.. what if she is a teenager? This is not a CD.. this is a very personal item worn on a very intimate part of our body.

Can they just ask someone to strip? This little security device is sewn completely inside the bra.. there is no way you could find it without taking off the bra.

I know you are not supposed to steal (believe me, I remember once walking out of a store with a small bag of elastics worth perhaps a dollar.. and walking all the way back to pass at the cash with it.. when I realized I hadn't paid for it) but I'm thinking of lots of young kids that often do stupid and foolish things.. if you are caught with a CD in your pocket, they confiscate it and then probably call your parents.. but what do they do here? A strip search? I just wish the tag would be more obvious and that it would discourage theft instead of being hidden for the purpose of catching thiefs.. Does this make sense to anyone else at all?

cold mountain

Yesterday, I finally sat down to watch 'Cold Mountain'. I had heard all about it being a great historical romance.

There were certain parts that I just loved. The battle scenes at the beginning were very well done although I suspect that during that time the soldiers would have taken more than silver and metal.. they would have stripped them naked and left them to rot.. of course this was alot easier to watch.

I also really admired the choice of the chanting during the battle scenes... I thought that was brilliant.

Renée Zwellweger made me laugh in that I know someone that is very much like her, not a hillbilly mind you, but a tomboy and very much... no frill.. boisterous and loud and always... go.. go.. go.. and let's get this done.. type of person.


Jude Law was gorgeus; Nicole Kidman was a bit cold.. they just didn't have alot of chemistry.

I know they wanted the story to be filled with trials and tribulations, but somewhere along the line I felt nobody could be outdoors for 2 minutes without being in danger of getting not just killed but slaughtered.

I also hated the ending. Yes, it is perhaps true that I'm a sucker for a happy ending but in this case I was disappointed that as in several other movies I have seen the hero comes back only to be able to inseminate her.. so that when he dies.. she will live happily ever after now with his offspring.

So all this to say, the movie was good, but not the masterpiece that I had heard about. Worth the little 2 1/2 hours it took to watch it? Yeah, sure. :)

Oh My!

Some of you may remember a few weeks ago, I wrote a blog on a discussion we had at Artalyst about nudes in art. One of the persons on the site made quite a stir about it being soft porn. I wrote all about it here.

Anyways, seems I have had a visitor to my blog who came here specifically with the following keywords: soft porn, butt, photographs.

Oh My!!

Galoot, was that you??

shortcut icon

Today, I added a shortcut icon to my blog. You should be able to see a 16 x 16 pixel icon of my Worth avatar in the location bar atop. I can see it in Mozilla, can you see it too?

Would you like to add one to your blog? ... easy as pie.

A) Just make a small icon .. exactly 16 x 16 pixels... I would suggest a .gif then rename it as a .ico

B) upload it somewhere you can link to

C) Add this html code between the HEAD and TITLE in your template:

Jamais deux sans trois!

There is a French expression: Jamais deux sans trois.. which means, never twice without thrice. It is used when talking about luck.. usually about bad luck. Tonight was one such night.

Nothing terribly bad happened... but it's as if nothing would go right. Actually it is all pretty funny.

Normally, last week I was to take individual pictures of all the members of the troupe for our coming production. The weather last week was pretty horrendous so I put off taking the pictures until this week because I didn't want too many people that would be missing.

To start off with, I'm going to blame all this on my periods that I started today. I guess there was not enough blood going to my head and I bungled a bunch of stuff up.

I was scrambling to get ready to leave and wanted to make sure I had fresh batteries in my camera. I had done a photoshoot a few nights before and still had on the piece with a screw that allows you to attach your camera to a tripod. I 'll call this piece the "whatchamacallit" because I don't know it's proper name. So, of course, to exchange the batteries, I had to take this whatchamacallit off. I did so. Put in fresh batteries.. put my camera and another set of fresh batteries (just to be on the safe side) into my camera case.

I have alot of things to bring, my camera in it's case, a tripod, an envelope with forms for members that weren't there last week to fill out, a pen, a bottle of water and of course.. in case I get finished early enough.. a binder with music. I decide I don't want to juggle so many different articles so I'll put several in a bag. I put everything except the camera and the tripod into this bag.

I'm thinking I'm well organized and everything will be fine. I will go up 4 flights and take the pictures of all the girls... then go down 5 flights.. take pictures of the guys.. then go up 5 flights.. and join rehearsals and then go down 4 flights and go home. Sounds like an aerobics class doesn't it?

Anyways.. I get to the hall.. and take off my coat.. start taking out my forms..and ooh.. bungle up #1: I hadn't pressed the top of my water bottle properly.. and half of the bottle of water emptied into this bag. All the music in my binder has wet edges, my forms are safe since the envelope they were in saved them. This is actually pretty funny to everyone.. I just smirk. take everything out.. place it to the side.. and empty the bag of it's water in the bathroom. A few people are making stupid jokes.. as they should have as it was rather funny.

Of course the best time to get up in front of a crowd (when you are shy to begin with ) to explain the procedure you would like them to follow is when you have just done something incredibly dumb.

So while everyone is warming up, I will have them come 4 at a time, and then they will send more people back. I set up the tripod and when I want to put my camera on said tripod.. I realize that the "whatchamacallit" is not in my camera bag. It is certainly at home on my computer desk. I call home so my hubby can bring it to me. In circumstances such as this, he immediately becomes blind and cannot see anything. Fine, I will do without. I decide I'll have to just stabilize my camera on the tripod head.. but I know someone is looking at me, thinking.. what is she doing? Anyways.. that would be bungle up #2. As I said, never 2 without 3.. so something has got to give right?

At first everything is going well.. I have almost finished taking all the pictures of the girls.. everyone is in a good mood.. fooling around, smiling large for the camera. I'm almost finished taking the girls pictures.. only 3 more to go.. out of 30 girls.. I 'm very happy. I've made a numbered list to match up with the photos so I don't mess up anyone's name.. and that number is cross-indexed with the forms they have brought back. It is still very early, I will have plenty of time to rehearse with the everyone.

I'm going to take the picture of the 3rd last girl.. and another one of them starts passing by under my camera.. twice. This causes the girl that is standing waiting for her picture to move around and talk to her.. This was not a problem, I'm quite laid back and so is the session.. So I just say, stay there one more sec.. and I'll delete this pic and take another one. Why delete it.. I could have just gone on and taken another.. but I didn't. Do you see what is going to happen a mile away? Obviously I didn't .. Should have hit FUNCTION: Erase ... but no.. I hit MENU .. ERASE ALL. I look dumbfounded as I see the status bar of the erasing happening.. it's only taking 2 seconds.. and yup.. I have erased every single photo I have taken in the evening. Yes, dears, that was my bungle up #3.

Of course this is not the end of the world.. everyone will get back in line, the list is already made.. so all I have to do is take them in the same order and all will be fine. The only thing is I have to go back into the hall.. look at everyone with this "oops, sorry" sort of smile.. and tell them. Let's just say that I was a bit embarrassed. Everyone was great and I redid the shoot of all the girls.. went down 5 flights did the guys.. and had plenty of time to finish rehearsals with everyone.

All in all, it was a fun evening... I just thought you guys might enjoy sharing my evening of maladroitness with me.

cake

Tomorrow is Sylvain's birthday. He'll be 44. Man, I can't believe how time flies. You feel pretty young and don't even quite realize that you are aging until you look in the mirror... and then it hits you.. you ain't what you used to be. It's not for nothing that your vision goes down as you get older.. it's to help you keep your sanity...or your vanity. :-P. ( I'm writing this and imagining Cynlynn nodding her head.. yep!)

Heck, if we could only just mature in our brain and keep the old body intact (thinking back to what it looked like at 18) wouldn't that be great? But I guess some of the maturing comes with the realization that we're way too shallow and to dig deeper... and find the beauty beneath.

For the occasion, I've made a birthday cake.. well, it's in the oven as I blog, so technically, it isn't quite "made" yet. It's called Crazy Chocolate cake because you simply throw all the ingredients one on top of each other, top off with a cup of hot java and mix. Foolproof.. Could have been called: Chocolate Cake for Dummies. I shouldn't knock it though, it's pretty darn good.

thank you

Worth has been and still is a very special place to me. The people who visit this blog are all Worthers.

To all of you,

To those who have laughed with me with me when I did or said something stupid, that cheered me on and supported me with my projects, that stopped by for virtual stuffed peppers and apple pie but most of all to all of those of you that have held both my hand and my heart when I was feeling down and hurt

To Arsi, Heather, Nicki, CynLynn, Kim, Los, Elbradenabra, MeanMrMustard, iZ and Galoot
I want to say, from the bottom of my heart

Thank you!
Maggie

Arsi

Last spring, Arsi began making his now famous Arsitars. He had already done a few and they were lovely. Someone started a thread in the Sugar Shack and soon people were begging Arsi for one. Of course, everybody wanted one. People were offering special favors... mostly camping favors. I remember Storminatrix offered the following: "Arsi, I'm really good at camping. We've got lots of spiders and snakes here... I'm really good at sucking out the poison too! :D"

Sure, I wanted one too... they were wonderful. I knew there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I would just receive one out of the blue...heck, he probably didn't even know who I was.. heck, how could he? I wasn't exactly advertising myself in the forums.

I got brave and followed with my own post. No, no poison sucking here, but if I went camping I would bring Tim Horton's donuts. To my surprise, he replied to my post saying that would do just fine. Man, I felt so lucky!

I was very happy about getting an Arsitar but when it finally arrived in an email... I was ecstatic to say the least. T'was a thing of beauty. He had made me looks so pretty, well, more than pretty... gorgeous. Hair all pulled up, luscious lips and huge doe eyes that batted softly and flirtatiously. It made me feel so good about myself.. made "me" feel pretty. I know it may sound shallow but things like that are important to a girl.

He wrote me something to the effect of: if you don't like it or want me to change something, let me know. What! Are you nuts!! It's beautiful, it's amazing. I'll wear it with pride.. Don't you dare change a thing!!

Keep your cowbells, your orange crates and your kitty cats... I'm not changing my Arsitar for anything.

Some gifts can not be bought.. this is one of them. :)



Oh.. and Arsi.. if we ever do go camping... I still owe you those donuts. ;)

Worth - part deux

The first person I really talked to on Worth was Burndog.

He helped me out when I started in the Photography department. We became friends. He sent me a couple of books on photography and I sent him a video card for his son.

He used to email me quite regularly, critiqued my photos and send me pictures of his wife and kids, their home and his fabulous garden. Burndog bought a new house, a fixer upper... and has been fixer-uppering since. He doesn't have alot of time for Worth these days but he emails me once every couple of months and this year he called me on Xmas Eve to wish me happy holidays. I remember we became jurors at the same time.

I was very surprised to become a juror. Although I commented on contests, I wasn't very vocal in the forums and thought I was pretty much invisible. For the longest time I wondered who had nominated me.

Before becoming a juror, I really had no idea how much work went on behind the scenes. It was a bit like when you take apart a clock and you expect to find that big black battery cell but what you find instead is amazing multitude of gears, wheels, springs and pins that work in unison to keep everything working smoothly.

I found a group of smart and generous people who freely gave of their time to make sure the place so many of us consider our home on the net stays a great place that we want to continue to come to, people who were passionate about art and community; fun, interesting, witty and talented people. It was like being given a gift when you least expect it... a wonderful and splendid surprise.

Worth1000

Worth1000
At the end of this week, it will be 2 years that I starting going to Worth1000. I received an email with a funny image.. followed the link and ended up in the galleries. I spent hours pouring over the images. They were funny, crazy and inspiring. Who were these people?... what was this?... I was in awe.


I took the the gallery.asp off the url and entered the home page.I looked at all the contests.. and was flabbergasted at some of the entries. All I could think was .. what an amazing place!



I registered and on the same day I entered a Training Grounds contest called Color Me
(a line sketch that we were to paint). It has now been moved to the Multimedia section but was in the PS section back then. I remember I painted it all in Paint Shop Pro and was very nervous about uploading the image. When the contest went live I watched the leader board as if my entire life depended on it. I came in 3rd. I was so happy. I was hooked and I've never turned back.



The community... I'm going to seem like such a dork when you all find out... but I didn't go to the forums for the longest time. I had never been to a community and I thought it was some sort of chatroom.... yes, yes... insert you laughter ... right here >LOL< . I was scared out of my wits, I thought I wouldn't know protocol. Several months later... yes... you heard it here folks... I said several months after... I tentatively clicked on the link... that link that I almost pressed a hundred times and held back... (I was so naive.. you must all think me so stupid). When I finally did click it... what did I find? Something I wasn't expecting. The forums; the wonderful, glorious forums.


People shared ideas.. and exchanged jokes, talked about their life. It was
abuzz with activity and all I had to do was virtually walk around, read and refresh to enjoy myself. Darn, I couldn't believe I had missed so much.


2 years. I can hardly believe it. Worth is such a big part of my life now. I found the photograhy section and bought a digital camera to play. I had never taken photos that weren't snapshots before and now really enjoy this new part of my life. But most of all.. what I enjoy is the community. There is not a day that I don't come and read the forums and vote in the contests. When my computer was on the blitz for a few days, it was difficult; on vacation I missed the place more than you can know. Yes... Worth, my sweet addiction, better than chocolate.



So few of you know me, know who I am, what I'm like. But I know you. I've lurked in the forums everyday. I've laughed at your jokes, smiled reading about your adventures and felt your sadness when your days were blue. I've played your silly games and filled out your polls. I've been amazed at your talent but more amazed by your compassion and generosity of spirit.



Worthers were blogging. Blogs.. I had no idea. Ingenious. I started mine because of all of you. I haven't had alot to say, just trivial, boring stuff about my daily life; sometimes my happiness, sometimes my frustration and sometimes simply what I was making for supper. Some of you came and shared in my life. Others have lurked and that's alright, as I've done my fair share of lurking.


This week I intend to dedicate my blogs to the people of Worth. I want to let you know how you have touched my heart in so many different ways. So.. please stay tuned.. it's going to be all about you! :)

So Bare

Took down the tree today...

tons of lights, miles of ribbon, tiny santas, angels, itty-bitty birds and a plethora of shiny baubles.... no longer.

taken down without pomp and circumstance

without peppy xmas music

even though back to normal.. oddly, now, the room looks so bare.

DIscussion

For the last few days at Artalyst.. there has been quite a discussion going on in the forums. It had to do with one member getting upset because of a couple photographs that were put in the gallery that were of a woman's behind. He not only was upset, but he went to the lengths of calling the photos: Soft Porn.

I do admit that they should be classified NSFW (Not Safe For Work) and the images will be put in a separate section... but soft porn? I think he went a little too far, but it brought up some very interesting conversation.



Here are some of the better excerpts:
(I'm not going to correct anyone's spelling here.. just so you know)


T: There just isn't any wholesome sites any more, without fail, someone wants to exploit the human body under the idea of art and in turn, limmit those who can view it. Why can't we keep it pg13? Why do we have to creep up into R?

Admin: not telling you how to raise your children, but (I believe) that children should always be monitored while on the internet. even programs like web nanny and such can always be bypassed by a kid with any computer skills.

T: I appreciate you setting up the thumb nail situation for the more conservative crowd. Hey, don't missunderstand me, I like nude bodies too, but aiming guns at your own face isn't the smartest thing to do.

L: Soft porn? Here? Where? I'm sorry but I have seen nothing on this site that I would consider soft porn. I've seen some excellent nudes that show a guys chest and abdomen and a womans bum, but you can see more by going to the beach.

T: I guess it's all relative. I suppose Hue Hefner and Billy Grahm would have different ideas about taste. Sorry for raining on you guys' art.


E: ( a 15 year old by the way) T..., im am not tellin you how to raise your kids or anything-heck im still a kid- but if they come across these images, you must tell them to be mature about it and look at it as art and as nothing more.

then he jokingly added ... and cracked me up, by the way: the images on this site are what i am refferring to, but i could understand if this had pictures like some of those pop-ups we all get--whew--and if they get some of those then well.......its ppl using their bodies in an unartful way.....and beat them with the bible until pictures fall onto the floor the quickly set them aflame. just jokin- but do take what i say into consideration and i understand if you disagree we all are entitled to an opinion.

M: (not me by the way) E.... you are very wise for your years. You are very right ( in my opinion) The human body is nothing to be ashamed of.

T: Again, the points being made here in this forum are based on relativity. Some pople have standards, some don't. Some have some standards, some have none. It all depends on a persons world view. Some people like chocolate and some like rape, and that is why we must have prisons - because some people see nothing wrong with rape, it's just a celebration of human sexuality. I know the consequences of being raped are far more severe than viewing nude photos, it's not even on the same plain - although Ted Bundy admitted to beginning his sexcapades with harmless nude photos, he obviously didn't end up staying there. Some things promise to serve and please, but only in the end desire to enslave and dominate. But if you have some standards, it's only right to ask if they could be put in place so you can participate without purposely going against personal safegaurds. A person who drives the speed limmit isn't better than the drunk driver, he's just safer - and so is everyone he comes in contact with on the road. I was just hoping to make the highway a bit safer. I still love you people:)

L: w00t... the can of worms just keeps getting bigger and I'm having a hard time not grabbin a fork... I love it.

Admin: it's amazing how "sex" (being so hardwired into our minds, bodies, and souls. the very thing that keeps our species alive) is such a magnet for everyone's attention. whether it be for sex, about sex, against sex, why sex or anything about sex, everyone will chime in. everyone will stay tuned. sex sells.

J: I don't mind the nudes, but my wife is not as openminded as I am. I can understand t..'s concern, if I was to bring up the pix in full view with my wife in here, I would get "that look". I don't find them erotic, just form. There is a picture in this site that I find the most erotic photograph I have ever seen, and the model is fully clothed. Just my thoughts.

Eurydice: (yes, me.. usually quiet in my little corner.. not saying a word.. even I chimed in) I think it's a good idea for us to have a NSFW section since we don't want to get people in trouble at work. That said, I think it has to do with who we are inside .. when I look at the images with a chest or a butt..than the actual picture. I find beauty in them.. and .. yes .. sensuality.
I think j..... hit it on the nail..what you find erotic.. doesn't have necessarily anything to do with being naked... some people get turned on by feet.. should we censor images of feet, too.. heck .. someone could go on a rampage... maybe women shouldn't wear nice shoes... or walk around with bare feet.

When does a butt go from being something natural.. like an arm and a leg.. something you are born with.. to something considered bad. I think it has to do with the person that is looking.. If you find it "offensive" perhaps you may have to look inside and wonder why? ... at what stage does a baby's bottom become -- no longer cute... when the person looking finds something more in it.

I don't like someone saying though, that I lack values or morals because I don't find these images offensive. I'm a good person and don't think my lack of being offended by the human form makes me lack in the values or morals department.

Georgia O"Keefe painted flowers .. flowers that I find both sensual and erotic in their nature. Their forms are very reminiscent of female genitalia... but they are still .. flowers.. I guess you can say.. it's all in the eye of the beholder.

L: To me this thread is going more along the lines of morality rather than artistic bounds. You're making analagies that to my way of thinking are a little far fetched. What do the pictures that spurred this whole thread have to do with sex anyway? When you look at the statue of David, do you feel that they were right in covering his penis with a stupid fig leaf? Or does looking at a penis carved in marble or a picture of a naked buttock on this site bring up suppressed feelings that you have been taught are nasty and dirty and unclean? Only since the introduction of "modern" religion, primarily christianity, has sex and nakedness become the spawn of the devil and something that we should be ashamed of. We also have a huge problem in the media that glorifies the abuse and beauty of such things. On one had in the churches we are taught that these are things that shouldn't be talked about. On the other hand we have media (internet, movies, news, etc.) that deifies sex and violence. What can we expect but the bubbling up of massively suppressed desires. Which then takes us to looking at the very fabric of our society.

Admin: I've always felt the best way to rid society of perverts and oversexed content, would be to allow everyone to go around naked. It would get old really fast.

In the Victorian Era, women weren't allowed to show their ankles or even their bare neck. I don't think there are many people who, today, are quite so aroused by a bare neck anymore.

-------

I would love to hear your opinions on the subject.. any takers?

no rehearsals tonight

It is Wednesday, and normally, I would have rehearsals tonight, but we only start back next week. This happens to work out perfectly for me, as I lost my voice on Sunday and although it is almost back today, it is still low and breathy...when I try and go higher.. it just squawks...like a pubescent young boy.

Next week instead of singing though, I have to photograph 60 people in a 2 hour time frame. This means.. take the picture, no chit-chat allowed. Otherwise I will never be done. These photos will certainly not be typical studio shots.. they will be for assigning roles, costumes, accessories. Each person will be given a form to fill out.. with his name and vital statistics. Take the form.. add ten pounds to what everyone wrote and you got it just about right! ;)


I got another small contract.. this time for gift certificates for spa treatments. Massages and body wraps in seaweed, clay or wax. These treatments cost a fortune, so they don't want to sell gift certificates that look like high-school diplomas.

So here is my idea. I make a card, something like a greeting card. It has a small translucent pouch in it where you put the actual gift certificate which is very small.. like a business card. The idea is that the giver can write a sentiment inside the card that the receiver can keep if they wish and just remit the small card to the spa. The envelope matches the interior paper and the whole is tied with a gold ribbon.

Here is my prototype:

Seduced!

Yesterday, I watched a wonderful little movie called "La Grande Séduction" by Jean François Pouliot. In English it is called "Seducing Dr. Lewis".

This movie is very charming, funny, whimsical and at times, poignant. It is about a very tiny fishing village in Quebec that no longer can survive on fishing and want a multi-national factory to set up in their town; only problem is, the company demands that the town have a doctor. The story is about how this tiny town of approx. 150 inhabitants go about seducing a doctor from the city to come live there.

I don't know if Americans can find this movie but if you can it is well worth it. You will be as seduced by the story and the characters as I was.

Movie Trailer

2005

Happy New Years everyone

I hope this New Year brings you all that you desire!

New Year's Eve

Well, it's the end of the year and I'm just feeling sad and lonely. I feel invisible, like I'm here but it doesn't really matter.

We have this doodad to go to tonight, I 'm not into it at all.. just wish I could stay at home but, of course, I'm going to shlep myself there just so nobody is disappointed.

Great way to start the New Year.. huh.... ?

Man, I could really use a hug!

Eurydice's song

Since my username is Eurydice, I thought I'd share this poem with you.



Eurydice’s Song

And so you’ve come for me,
dressed up, suited out, high-stepping, flute and lyre hanging from your belt—you think you’re pretty hot.

Were you desperate for me? Or merely bored? Winter’s snows kept you warmer than my breasts? feet caressed your smooth skin, sleet kissed those lips puffed from fluting?

Or did other arms wrap your loneliness in a forgetfulness
more poignant than despair?

Was it love that brought you here? The anguish of absence? Or curiosity
and your hurry burly pride that dares everything? This was the tune
no one had played, this journey to the dark.

was your excuse, not your beloved.

You
were afraid I had forgotten you?
Oh, no, my smooth-cheeked boy.

You made
the trees waltz. Birds slowed their swift flights
to glide atop your rhythms. I could hold
a stone to my ear and the stone sang.

—William Borden, from “Eurydice’s Song”

Christmas.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and lots of fun with friends and family.

Here, the holidays have been pretty busy, but not crazy. On the 22nd, I had the supper with the people I sing with. Everything was delicious. Many people got up and sang a song, and we also sang alot of "chansons à répondre". That's where one person sings a song and then everyone replies in song. Many old French songs are this type. After the supper, many of us ended up at the Entr'acte. You may remember seeing it in a previous post. It is a pub; very rustic inside and there is no dance floor.. it is really a place to go and talk.

On the 23rd, I finally finished the calligraphy for the wedding album. Yay! There are just so many flowers and hearts and vines that a person can take.

On the 24th, I had my family over for a buffet supper. Food is piled miles high, the children open their gifts and we all just kick back and relax.

We had an unexpected visit from Santa. Donald is our friend and neighbor. He has played Santa for his kids since the last 4 years. He gets dressed up.. makes a bit of noise so his kids can actually see him putting presents under the tree.. and then he leaves and comes to our house. His kids watched him through their upstairs window. Nico is going to be 8 and there are alot of kids at school already telling him Santa doesn't exist.. and this made the magic of Xmas real for him. To me, Santa is the Xmas spirit... and taking the time to dress up and make it magical for your kids is what the Xmas spirit is all about.

When everyone leaves at something like 3 in the morning, we start to prepare for the 25th. It is pretty crazy. Make cake and then while that is baking, start making the turkey stuffing.. it is a weird circle... cook, eat, clean, sleep, cook, eat, clean, sleep.

I was really hankering to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" on tv at 8:00 but Fanny and Steven were not going to be arriving at our house before 7:00... so supper was later than normal and when 8:00 rolled around, people were still stuffing themselves with turkey and tourtière... suffice to say, I didn't get to watch it this year.

On the 26th, we had supper with our friends and neighbors.. Donald and Lyne.. Méghan and Nicolas were so excited to tell me about how they saw Santa putting presents under our tree and how they saw him enter our house. Their eyes were all lit up and they were still all wrapped up in the magic of the moment. It was wonderful to see.

Yesterday we had supper with Carmen and Michel. They also have 2 children. I told Kevin how Santa had come to our house.. So I asked him if Santa had left him gifts.. and he said, no.. his parents did, but Santa didn't because of course... he didn't believe in Santa anymore. There are no cookies and milk for Santa.. no carrots for the reindeer.. no spirit and no magic. Ah.. too bad! Maybe I'm just being too sentimental.

Today it is noon and I'm still not dressed, just running around in a robe taking it easy. I'm thinking supper will either be leftovers or pizza.. I'm not cooking today, even if you beg me!

only a few days left

With only a few days left, I have been running around trying to get several things done. Today I made 4 tourtières, (French-Canadian meat pies.. very traditional) and another batch of fudge as Simon and Sylvain gobbled up everything that was already made.

I also made some rolled Chicken tortillas. These are not at all traditional as you may have guessed, but everyone begs for them so I make a ton.

Besides all that I have still been working on that album. I'm starting to go cross-eyed.. but I think I 'll be able to finish it in time.

Tonight I have an supper with the group of people that I sing with. I'm hoping it will be alot of fun. I 'll let you know how it goes.

I thought I'd leave you with pictures of our house.. decorated with both lights and lots of snow.



and here's our reindeer "Frank"; as you can see, he's a bit snowed in.

xmas tree

Today, it was blistering cold outside. I worked on the calligraphy for the wedding album I have been working on since forever; I'm hoping to finish it for her before Christmas.

I really don't have much more to relate so I though I would share with you my Xmas tree!

home sweet home.

Sylvain had his Xmas party yesterday

The party was out of town, so we travelled there during a snowstorm.

The employees played curling before having a traditional turkey dinner. The curling club was actually very nice and all decked out for the holidays.. a 10Ft tree with lights and ornaments too, it was very pretty.

One of the kids fell on the ice and said he couldn't move. He was saying he thought he broke his leg too. An called an ambulance. They took every precaution in case he had hurt his back. A couple hours later he returned from the hospital with the boss. He was perfectly alright. I'm glad he wasn't hurt, but personally I think I would have been embarrassed to come back after making a huge fuss.. and taking an ambulance ride and not even have to put an ice pack on my injuries. Oh.. well... it was the highlight of the evening.

We slept at a hotel, or rather we tried to sleep. The bed was not very comfortable and I got only 1 wink out of the 40 I needed.

Ah... Home Sweet Home!

done -- finally!

I finally finished my Valentine's Day tickets. When I start the conception of these things, I'm totally engrossed into coming up with something different and special.. and don't think at all about how bored I will be having to do hundreds of them.

What starts off as fun turns into a production line. How do people do it? ... work on production lines... yes, I know it's a job and all that.. but I think I would go nuts. I imagine they turn off what they are doing and think about all different things.. but heck.. how much thinking can you do in one day anyways?


this is the ticket opened.. I already showed you my design sample a while back.. but now you won't have to look for it.



and here is the whole troup..jeez.. they almost look like an army.. :-P each packet fills one table of 10-12 people



Now.. finally .. I can get into Christmas!! Yay!

Gingerbread

Ah..today, I made gingerbread cookies. There is the wonderful smell of ginger, cinnamon and cloves hanging in the air, that truly makes the house smell like Christmas, especially for me.

When I was young, every Christmas, my mom would make them and we would decorate them with her. It was a tradition at our house and one that I do every year. Maybe it helps me feel I'm with her.. I miss her alot, especially at this time of year.

My mom and dad came to Canada in the '50's. My dad is Polish and drove trucks for the Americans in Germany during the war. After the war was over, he worked in a dairy, making cheese. My mom is German. They were very different and came from completely different backgrounds.

My dad came from a very poor family, what you would call dirt poor, I guess, since the farm he grew up on didn't have real floors, just dirt. In the wintertime, they would spread hay on the ground and even let the animals in the house if it was too cold.

My mother, on the other hand, came from a very fortunate family. Her grandfather was a mathematician and a pianist and her father had several businesses including a mill and a general store. My grandfather was the first man in his town to own a car.

They met after the war, got married and decided to move to Canada.

People around the world have different traditions.. Most Americans seem to celebrate Christmas by waking up Christmas day morning and seeing what Santa had left them. Quebecers, usually go to midnight mass and celebrate when they get home until the early morning hours.

Christmas at our house was always on Christmas Eve, just as it was for my mom when she was a child. We would go to sleep in the late afternoon so Santa could come.. and come, he always did.

We would each have a special plate with our name on it.. with special candies, mandarins, gingerbread cookies ... and my favorite treat, Marzipan. Ah.. Marzipan .. wonderful, delicious Marzipan.. covered with dark chocolate. It was shaped as a loaf or a half cigar if you want and was very delicious. She would send for it especially for Christmas. When I'm lucky, I sometimes find some in Montreal and bring it home for Christmas. Too often, there is none.

When we were young, my dad would drag us off to church. My mother would follow along but this was the only time of the year that she went to church. My mother was raised a Lutheran and when she married my dad, she had to change religion or they (the Catholic church) wouldn't allow the marriage. I think that may have turned her off religion. Did it really matter what church you went to.. did it really make you a better person? She didn't think so, and neither do I.

The other tradition we had was the breaking of the host. My dad would get a huge rectangular host from his country and he would get it blessed by the priest. The host was broken into the same number of pieces as the members of your family. You then go around and give a piece of your host to another member and tell he or she how much you love them and what you wish for them in the New Year. I guess the giving of the host was a sort of communion thing.. but we, as children, didn't think of it that way. Today, we still do this although we don't get it blessed by a priest and there is no longer any religious connotation connected to it.. but trading your pieces and sharing with your family, your siblings, your children ... looking them in the eye and telling them that you love them and are proud of them is very touching.

Then everyone opens their gifts. There are few things as gratifying as the smile on a child's face getting something he or she really wished for. Their eyes light up and everything seems good in the world for that moment.

Christmas Decorations

This weekend both of my brothers were supposed to come down. One came down yesterday but the other missed his plane and since he was only coming for a 24 hour visit, he will come down next weekend.

I spent a good portion of the day working on my St. Valentine's day tickets and the calligraphy for the album.

Tonight I went out and took a few pictures of the Christmas decorations in my neighborhood.

This one is very simple yet elegant.



the next one is at the corner of our street. I love that the lights go all the way around the house even the garage. Very pretty!


This is a local bar. It is not very far from where I live. It is not a very noisy place, just a warm and friendly spot where you can have a libation with a friend.


Here is a small log house. We have a little mining village in our town, that is considered historical. All the houses are log houses and very tiny and quaint. Here is one of them.


and these 3 snowmen were just so cute.. I couldn't help myself but show you.

Christmas Cards

I'm about to start writing my Christmas cards. I was just thinking about the kind and wonderful people I have met online (both at Worth and Artalyst). Most of you come here and read about my daily life.. some have left me encouraging words..others hugs when I needed them. I would love to send you, my friends, a Christmas card.

If you would like to receive one from me Email me here! with your address and I'll send you one.. with plenty of good wishes for the New Year.. we could all use some good wishes couldn't we?

You get the added bonus of getting a French Xmas card.. how special is that?

Really good day

For the very first time ever, I have dyed my hair. Up until today, it was a very dark brown.. almost black. It is now medium brown with streaks of caramel-like color. I'm still not used to it. When I look in the mirror, it is as if I'm looking at someone else. But I like it, it's very soft looking and pretty. At rehearsals tonight, everyone was complimenting me on it and said it was gorgeous and how well it suited me; always feels good to hear that! :)

It had been 2 weeks since I had been to rehearsals because of my dad's hospitalization.
Tonight was so much fun. Isabelle and I both had missed last week's practice where everyone works in ateliers.. so tonight we were both stuck pretty much site-reading. It was alot of fun. At first we made a few errors and were singing like tiny mice so no one would notice.. but by the end of the evening we were belting it out just like everyone else.

We also split up pour group into two different time periods, the medieval peasants and the citizens of the future, because there will be interaction between the both. I found out that I will be a medieval peasant. Alot of the people that will play peasants with me are people I truly enjoy and have lots of fun with. Yay!

Tonight was particularily energizing because in the story there is a dispute between the medieval peasants and the citizens of the future about whether a certain capsule is either a poison or a cure. There is alot of repeating going on.. and James was doing the roles of the soloists ... but lots of people kept screwing up and singing when it was the soloist's turn. It was very funny.. we laughed alot and had a great time.

I had a great day!

he's outta there!

Today, I wasn't going to see my dad, I was just going to call him, because I really needed a break but then he called and asked me to pick up a newspaper for him so finally relented and I did go to the hospital.

I promised myself.. that today, I wouldn't let him get me down and if he started that I would leave.

When I got there, I met up with one of the therapists and we all (my dad, myself and she) went into a room and had a little discussion. Since she doesn't speak much English and my dad, not much French.. I acted as liaison.

It seems in the morning they had him do chores and cooking. They made him make eggs and bacon and toast etc. Everything went well.

Tomorrow the group of therapists get together and discuss about the patients. She told me right off hand.. oh.. he'll be out in a few days for sure.

When we left the room, we met up with his doctor who said.. He can leave tomorrow.

Well.. my dad was ecstatic.. and for the rest of the afternoon was in a great mood.. and didn't give me one moment of strife.

When I left the hospital.. it was quite cold and the air was nipping at my ears..the walk is about 1/2 hour but I didn't care. I was just so relieved that it went well.

I feel better

Yesterday I was a jerk to someone I really care for. When I apologized, this person was extremely sweet and made me feel good instead of putting me down.

Going to see my dad so often, has not been good for my self-esteem. He just makes me want to crawl under a rock and cry. I can't let him do this. He has done it all my life, and wants me to believe that I don't deserve to be happy.

I can't let him do this... and I won't let him do this. I won't let him try to make me believe that I 'm worthless.

thank you, Heather and Los. for your kind words. They are appreciated. :)

Tough day, tough week.

oh.. my dad is giving me such a hard time. He is recovering very well.. but hates it at the hospital. During their evaluations, they have been asking him a gazillion questions.. that he finds stupid.. and have been making him do all kinds of movements and tests. He is not very happy.. feels they are treating him as if he is stupid or crazy.

Even though I go to see him everyday and sometimes twice a day, he dumps his frustrations on me. Now, it's all my fault I brought him into the hospital.. because he nows says he would have recovered on his own.. and I'm all to blame.

His girlfriend is not better. She just is so negative and has been putting a guilt trip on me because I don't want my dad living with me. My dad, on the other hand does not want to go into an assisted-living community. If you knew my history and everything that ever happened to me because of my dad, you would understand that I can't do it.

I've been trying hard to have a brave face and be strong. My brothers are far away and just figure I can take care of it all.

Besides that, I've gone and alienated someone I care alot for..

I feel so alone.. with no support anywhere.

Today.. I feel I can't do anything right. :(

a team of 12? Yep!

I went to see my dad at the hospital today.

They changed his room.. he is no longer with 3 women.. he is now in a room with just one other man.

When I arrived he was sleeping very soundly.. so I was surprised.. what's this? middle of the day? He didn't even hear me nor the huge buffing machine in the hall.

So I asked a nurse .. did you give him a sedative? Seemed that no.. not even a tylenol.

Soon after he awoke, he xplained that the night before (when he was in the room with the women) one of them cried all night.. and nurses were coming in and out .. telling her to calm down and don't cry.. so my dad didn't sleep all night. So after breakfast and a shower, they gave him a doppler exam in the morning to check his arteries.. and then did physical therapy.. so soon after lunch, he just fell asleep like a lump on a log.

He is doing well though, We walked around the floor he is on several times because he was bored out of his skull.

As well as he seems, they have a policy that if you have a stroke, no matter how mild, you have to be evaluated before you can leave.. especially if you live alone.
So I have seen 2 different specialists already .. have answered tons of questions.. but neither of them have seen my dad yet.. I almost feel as if I am the one getting tested.. lol

So, they will only start evaluating him on Monday. A team of 12 different specialists.. can you believe that? I live in the province of Quebec and we have governmental health care. People pay a tiny portion of their salary and everyone gets free health care. I cannot believe what this would cost if we lived in the US. It would be ridiculous.

Anyways, tomorrow he wants me to bring him Xmas cards and his list.. so he can write everyone. If only he could wait until Monday.. I would love them to see this.

I talked to his doctor (a cutie, by the way) that said.. that he didn't think they would keep him very long.. but that is how things worked.. it takes a team of 12 to get released from the hospital. :-P

----

Besides that.. sometimes living in a small town stinks!! Especially when you are looking for certain art supplies. I looked all over last night and couldn't find what I was searching for. I finally found it on ebay this morning. I wrote the seller , who lives in the States and she was a sweetheart. I don't have to wait for the auction to be over.. I paypalled the money and she mailed it out today. Yay!
------

the apology

James called me. He was inquiring about how my dad was doing and then slithered the conversation over to what happened at the meeting. He gave me a half-assed apology along the lines of: I'm sorry it happened but it was not my fault and blamed someone else. She on the other hand blamed him.

As I look back on that evening and the little subtle things that happened, I know for certain that both he and the president knew and were just too chicken to tell me, leaving me in a awkward and embarrassing situation. It just shouldn't have happened.

I think you can tell alot about a person by how they own up to things and this tells me alot.


Anyways, I'm not a very vindictive person. I think this piece is amazing and I want to be part of it..I will still sing in it.. and I will still help paint sets etc., because I want the production to be a huge success. I actually like the new director and his set/costume designer and they have no fault here. It would be easy to make them the target, but why? They were not the ones that were dishonest or not forthright with me.

I did let James know though, that I was very disappointed because I deserved better, not only did I do alot of work for nothing.. but I didn't like having to feel like a fool. I didn't scream at him, I just simply told him .. how it made me feel. I could feel his embarrassment through the phone... at least it was not in front of a whole bunch of people; I wouldn't do that.

putting things into perspective

Normally, tonight, I would have had a rehearsal. I was wondering how it would unfold because of last's night events.

Today, during lunch hour my dad had a mild stroke. I guess that puts last night's events a bit more into perspective. It was maddening but not the end of the world.

His girlfriend called me and said.. something is wrong with your dad. I had spoken to him earlier and he seemed just fine.. so I was surprised but went over to see him. Well.. he couldn't speak except to say the word no! .. I tried to get him to put a coat on and bring him to the hospital.. but he wouldn't let me.. so I called an ambulance.

When we arrived at the hospital.. he couldn't speak and he was slightly confused but he pretty much understood what was going on. Slowly during the afternoon, he started to regain his speech, although partially. He had a scan and it revealed that the stroke was mild... it also revealed that he already had a a mild stroke before but they couldn't tell how long ago.

He was tired.. so I came home close to 4 o'clock. I went back around 6:30 and he was feeling much better. How do I put this nicely.. my dad is not the easiest person.. and was irritated that he hadn't eaten yet.. and sort of yelled at me. I figure if he has the strength to be mean.. he probably is feeling alot better.

Anways.. they will keep him at the hospital for a few days, they want to have a therapist work with him to help him regain his speech.

My mom died over 20 years ago and my dad has lived on his own since then.. but we may soon have to think about if he should live in some sort of assisted living community. He is not very young. When my dad got married.. he was already almost 40 years old, so he is in his 80's now.

oh..

and for some odd reason, Norrit started a thread in the Sugar Shack.. about me, and several people added to it. I have absolutely no idea why, hopefully it's not because I'm sad case.. but I must say.. on a day like today, it was just so refreshingly nice.. to have something good like that happen. It was like getting a huge hug.

let down

Well, I had my first production meeting.

It didn't go well. First thought that will probably come to your mind is that they didn't like the work I did... but I wouldn't know.. because they just never got to see it.

I'm going to backtrack here a bit to better set up the situation.

I do graphic design.. not enough to make me rich.. but enough to keep me happy and bring in a little money. I do mostly small quantities but unique and creative things.. like wedding invitations or gift certificates that looks like gifts and not certificates. I also do alot of posters and programs for local art shows, plays and concerts.

I also sing with a troupe that does large productions every other year or so. I do their posters, their programs, tickets.. have painted sets.. sewn costumes.. and made accessories (everything from pandora's box to Cerebus). Although regional, these productions are quite big .. costing several hundred thousand dollars.

This year we started a new production in September. I was approached in the summer to see if I was interested in doing the costume designs. At that moment, I didn't even have an idea what the piece was going to be about, but I was looking forward to the challenge and said yes.

So.. September rolls around, they bring me the script.. the music.. the roles. The story will move around alot.. between medieval times and the future. At this point, they haven't chosen their director yet. They have interviews set up and will be choosing in October.

I have started doing the costume sketches. preliminary stuff.

November.. Date is set up when I will meet the new director and set designer and we will hash out details.. tiny changes that need to be made.. so everything comes together and looks good and not like a mish-mash.

Now, James, the musical director has final say about everything. He started this project and it's his baby. Everytime I see him.. so.. Maggie.. how are the designs going? I can't wait to see them! etc., etc.,

Several weeks ago.. I'm walking with James, he lives a mere 5 minutes from where I live.. and he's telling me they have chosen the director. He mentions that the director usually works with a set designer and a costume designer... but that he was very adamant that I do the costumes. At this point .. I have several designs done.. but none of them are inked. I say.. you know James, if he's used to working with this other person.. I don't have to do the costumes.. NO, NO!!! I want you to do them, I trust you.. and bla.. bla.. that's it, that's all.. I can't wait to see what your great ideas are.


The meeting gets set for the 30th of November. The director is actually coming up here on the 29th.. and hashing through the storyline and music with James.

At this point, I'm a little nervous.. getting my stuff ready for the 30th. I want to make a good impression especially since I'm going to be replacing someone he is used to working with.. I better not arrive with nothing to show. I spend the last two days.. just coloring the designs on computer.

When I arrive.. James is there.. and so is Bruno who wrote the scenario and lyrics. James looks uncomfortable and for the very first time doesn't jump all over me saying.. hey.. Maggie.. show me what you have created... etc.,

I'm thinking he is just nervous about the production meeting.. how will it go etc.,

Finally everyone arrives .. introductions are made. When I'm introduced.. the president is kind of weird.. instead of saying this is Maggie and she will be doing the costume designs.. she fuddles and says something like.. This is Maggie.. she's done alot of different things for us during the years.. set work, graphics.. and she smudgingly says something about costumes.. but it's not very clear. Everyone else around the table seems to have a clear mandate about what their part in this is, except for me. I'm a bit bewildered why I was introduced this way, but just take it in stride as an overlook and although a little annoyed.. just let it go.

I'm sitting directly beside the set designer and the director. So.. I start to show the set designer what I have come up with.. and I literally see her take a quick breath.. there is a moment of hesitation.. and I immediately sense something wrong.

Here is what is wrong. She is not only the set designer.. she is also the costume designer. They are not two different people. They are "one". She works with this director.. they are a team. The day before they came to meet James and Bruno and explained this is how they work.. only thing is .. they neglected to tell me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see James.. looking down at the table, and it's as if time stops for a second.. feels almost like slow motion. I see the president.. all uncomfortable at the other end. They are uncomfortable? what about me? I'm embarrassed. I have a huge pile of designs.. and this woman is in the process of explaining that she designs her costumes around her sets etc., etc.,

I'm feeling like they think I'm some over anxious eager-beaver that is interested in them looking at my designs. I quickly shove the pile together and put them back in the manila envelope.

I'm angry.. but mostly hurt and embarrassed. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. I 'm not angry at the new director or set designer.. it's not their fault they work this way. They were very warm, creative people and I liked them. I am angry with James.. who pushed me to continue and whom after I specifically said that I would be willing to back down.. said.. NO!!
I did all this work.. and I might as well put it in the trash. Nobody will ever see it.

If you met me, you would know that I'm not a very controversial person. I'm honest and will share my thoughts if I think it will matter.. but I don't like fights, I don't provoke people.. actually I am quite easy going. So.. I didn't stand up and make a fuss.. I didn't overturn the table and call them names.. I just sat there.. very quietly.

After the meeting I talked to the president. She pretended that she didn't know that I wouldn't be doing the costumes.. but I know better.. just from her introduction.. I'm not sure how little before the meeting that she found out.. but she knew.

Now .. I'm anxious to see how do they announce this demotion to the troupe. How are they going to take it back. Also.. how embarrassing will it be for me when they announce it..or will they just not say anything and pretend it never happened. I have rehearsals tonight.. I want to see James look me in the eye and apologize. Will it happen? I 'll let you know.